Fun Friday: Random Humor

Thrive Christians takes Fridays to encourage laughter. Loosen up and try a laugh; it cannot hurt you, and it might "life" you.

There's a dropout named Bobby and a super genius named Greg sitting on a bench waiting on a bus.

The genius gets bored, leans over to the dropout and says,

"Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you have to give me five bucks. If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I have to give you $50."

The dropout says, "Alright, man."

The genius asks the dropout, "What is the Pythagorian Theory?"

The dropout replies, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks.

"Okay," the dropout says, "What has three legs going up a hill and four legs going down?"

The genius thinks real hard and finally gives up. He hands the dropout 50 bucks then asks, "So, what is the answer?"

The dropout says, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks.

-----

Stock Market Humor

• Helium was up.
• Feathers were down.
• Paper was stationary.
• Knives were up sharply.
• Pencils lost a few points.
• Hiking equipment was trailing.
• Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline.
• Light switches were off.
• Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
• Balloon prices were inflated.
• Diapers remained unchanged.
• Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
• Oil continued it’s slippery slide.
• And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

----

This has been a humdinger of a week in my life. I will find something funny at my garage sale tomorrow. I am placing my mind in position to laugh at any funny things that enter my world. No matter what... the choice of inviting laughter is mine. Please join me and decide to "see" "hear" and notice the funny things in your life....a merry heart may well be your Biblical solution and Rx.

One Word One Hour

On Tuesday (One Word) I wrote the power of one Word from God to guide my life. I shared with a frustrated friend how I prayed for direction and all that came to me in prayer was "Write." We prayed together on the phone and she knew what her one Word had been there all along. In Tuesday's post I asked you bloggers to pray for your Word. Thanks for your comments....they are still coming, and I'm loving hearing from you.

I didn't mention Tuesday that I also shared with my friend that I have faithfully invested one hour a day to research, study and/or write since God gave me that word. I'm a right brain impulsive type by nature. The discipline of writing for one hour with my one word focus is opening up new levels of creativity for me. I hate to admit it, but I'm the one who loves to get enthusiasticallly "inspired." Once I have that "inspiration" my tunnel vision kicks in. My desire is to shut out everything else and feverishly produce my "masterpiece" in heroic fashion.

The power of one hour focused on one word has been amazing to my jumping rabbit self. Surely this is the old fairy tale wisdom of the turtle and the hare operating. The Bible calls us to disciplined diligence from beginning to end. The faithful patient follower of God reaps Heaven's blessing.

Galatians 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord

Last night that friend called and she was breathless in excitement on what God has done in two days. With her focus on her one word she has gone to the library for research and writing for one concentrated hour each day. "Ms. Kay, I wanted to keep on when the hour was finished. But I remembered you said to stop at one hour and begin again tomorrow. I have completed more on my new workbook in these two days than I have in a year."

So what's up with this? I'm not sure I know. Perhaps some of you folks can help me understand the wonder of one word/one hour discipline. I had shared with my friend that I am intensely organized with my "mining" when I research or write during my hour. I have files in my computer program that I file each item scrupulously so that I can find them easily later on.

Your insights through your comments bless me more than I can express. I'd love to hear from you on your opinion about discipline, inspiration, and living the thriving Christian life.

One Word

One Hour

Lessons From Basketball for the Church

Clayton King writes in his blog that the church and the Boston Celtics basketball team have some things in common. Once this team had the respect of all basketball fans. Then they had 6 losing seasons out of 9. The coach made great changes throughout the team ...he changed up everything.

The church has lost its favor among the majority of Americans. Many of us, according to Clayton, want to find a way back to the glory days. He feels this is like the Celtics when they kept doing things the same way and losing.

To summarize Clayton's points on how the Celtics started winning and what that could mean to the church I leave these 4 points:

1. Embrace change; not living on legacy


2. Stay hungry, not fat and content (As soon as the church becomes apathetic, it becomes nostalgic and it begins to die. Soon it rots until it is nothing but a monument to the past. But when the church stays hungry for souls, for serving others, for making disciples that will change the world, the church CANNOT BE STOPPED! Reality Check: Followers always reflect their leaders.)
   
3. Stay faithful...don't get flashy (Faithfulness is blessed when it revolves around Christ and His mission to redeem the world, not our attempts to be successful, cool, or relevant.)


4. Keep it simple (When the church gets subverted into anything other than the gospel, discipleship and community, we move away from our simple mission of being the presence of Christ to the world around us. Politics, the environment, and boycotting theme parks are all noble things in themselves, but in the words of Leonard Sweet, the church chases after causes and mission statements because we don’t like the one that was given to us by Jesus. "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. Make disciples and teach them to obey me." Simple enough to keep us all pretty busy.)

Jesus laid out the simple, but insurmountable task: make disciples surrendered totally to the Kingdom of God with Jesus Christ as King of all. We have no room for:

• change resistance
• complacency
• compromise
• complications

I'm no basketball fan, but I love what Clayton has written with regards to the church. He concludes this blog post with: "Thank you, Boston Celtics, for making this 35 year old basketball lover feel like a kid again. But mostly, thank you for reminding me how fierce, relentless, and effective the church CAN be if we know who we are and what our mission is."

Clayton, I never played the hoops, but I was one enthusiastic high jumping screaming cheerleader. So for you, man..."Yeah!!! Clayton's scores for our team. YEAH!!!"

WEBSITE FOR THE POST MENTIONED:

http://claytonking.com/what-the-church-can-learn-from-the-boston-celtics/

One Word

Last night I had two Christian young people call me with sincere need to know what God is calling them to do. Both of them are out of work and they want to maximize this transitional season of their lives. I invested my ears for intense listening. I prayed with each of them. I shared my experiences in my transitional season this year since my husband died.

God gave me one word: Write, when I prayed for guidance and direction. I challenged each of them to ask for a word. Before the conversations were over (both of them wanted to talk; so each one was over an hour), they each knew that word.

So, I decided this could be good challenge on this blog.

• What is one word that God has given you for your ministry or life work?


• What is one word that God has challenged you to pursue in seeking His understanding and wisdom in Bible study?


• What is one word that He is calling you to focus on in relationships (spouse, parent, child, worker, church)?


• What is one word He is calling you to focus on in your transformation and sanctification into being Christ-like?

My one word that I have hyphenated that guides my every moment is that quality I see in Jesus Christ: Strong-Gentleness. I work hard not to operate out of defensive self protection; which to me is the opposite of Strong Gentleness. I see Father God , Holy Spirit as my strength...I see Jesus Christ as my saviour and my propitiation. In light of all this, I am strong...in Christ, so I can afford to be gentle.

Got a word?

Warning Signs: What Are We To Do When We See Them?

My phone calls this weekend involved troubled family and friends of two different severely depressed people. Clearly one of them was putting out warning signs that he wasn't sure living was worth the pain. This other one has become so serious that everyone sees her growing sadder every day.

One of my family members would threaten suicide when I was growing up. I recall one time an aunt gave me such good counsel. She said never to believe that I could keep someone alive who had fallen so low in poor mental health that they decided to end their life. She made me come to see that while that troubled person was struggling. Fortunately, there never was a full fledged suicide attempt; only talk.

I drew from that well of experience as I heard my friends' pain on these two different situations. I told them the time to face our inability to help some people has to be early on. After someone takes their own life you just seem to run in circles on "what more could I have done...said....prayed? God has blessed both situations and there is more hope for all today.

I remembered my physician husband warning family members over and over, "If suddenly this person seems happy and there is no explainable reason for the euphoria; move fast because they may have come up with the time, plan and way to end their pain by taking their life."

I shared that with both sets of concerned folks. I am thinking and praying today for protection, breakthrough, and help in such troubled people. But I'm also mulling over my husband's advice....if bam! everything looks rosy be concerned. As I watch God move in my life and in other's lives, I see that the spiral down into depression, "darkness" occurs over months or years. Generally it takes time to get out of those circumstances also. Perhaps this is also the mercy of God. Just as coming into bright light when we've been in the dark is blinding; maybe we need the breakthroughs to be step by step.

Trouble still nips at these young adults. Any of you readers have wisdom I can share with my friends?

Lord, I want to thank you for life today. I thank You I treasure my life, and I have You filling my heart and thoughts. No matter what is challenging my peace; I see You as enough to cherish each moment of my life. I pray You will close Your arms around these two who feel life is more pain than gain. Shed Your life giving light into their worlds and renew their strength. Thank You for being Love; thank You for Your mercy on us all. AMEN

New Roads on Old Routes

Last night I found driving in the cold rain and fog a cinch even though I was driving through a mountainous terrain . I went "home" to the Northeast Georgia mountains. I made this trip alone to celebrate 94 years of my aunt's wonderful life on earth and rejoice in her homecoming to Heaven. But things have changed in that little village. I remembered how I cringed every time I rode with my mom driving that same road. It was curvy and had sharp inclines; and there were deep drop offs near the shoulder of the road.

One time I actually opened my eyes while mom (all 5 ft. 2 inches of her) turned the steering wheel as hard as she could and I realized we had just passed a car. We were in the left lane and so were they!!! I screamed out "Oh No!!" My mountain woman mom reprimanded me, "Now, you quiet down. Everybody knows you have to swing to the left to make this curve."

There was no arguing with my mother, but I kept hoping I never met a stranger driving around that curve in the right hand lane.

Well last night I drove around that same mountain on a new, well engineered 4-lane highway. It was beautiful and so easy to navigate. Don't buy that saying "the good old days." Everything wasn't the best bad then.

As I drove this road in hazardous weather conditions I thought about my life in Christ. Today I encounter situations that threw me into anxiety and panic a few years ago. Now, in Christ, life is like driving on that new road. I feel secure and confident in Holy Spirit, and I enjoy the curves, heights and challenges on my life journey. There's no need to "sweat" the high altitude on an old route. No, the "rock" beneath me is in many ways like that new four-lane highway. I can "see" the road clearly, and I have no sense of being hit blind-sighted.

Lord God, Thank You for Your mercy in saving me; in keeping me and taking me on old routes with new faith, hope and power in You. Have Your way Lord. When You plan the trip and guide me, ..all is well. AMEN

Fun Friday: Actual School Excuses From Parents

Thrive Christians takes Fridays to find something to bring a chuckle to your life. Laughter is recognized by all experts to improve your health inside and out. So laugh a little with us as we read these student's excuses for being absent from school.

Parents actually wrote these excuses for their children to hand into their teachers: spelling is just the way Mom or Dad wrote it. Enjoy!

• 
  My daughter is being treated by her doctor. She should not take P.E. today. Please execute her.



• Please exkuce Marie for being absent. She was sick. I had her shot.



• Please ecsc’s Jerome being absent Jan.28, 29,30,31, 32 and also 33rd.



• Please excuse Brian from P.E. for this week. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.



• Tiffany has been absent because she had 3 teeth taken out of her face.



• Marie could not come to school this week because she has very close veins.



• Marvin will not be school cus he has an acre in his right side



• Please excuse Katie from missing school on Friday. We had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t’ know what size she wears.



• Please excuse Lamar for being. It was his Father’s fault.



• Maurice will not be in school this week. We have to attend her funeral.



• Tonya was absent yesterday. She was too tired to come to school because she spent a weekend with the Marines.



• Valerie was out of school last week. She had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister, Jane, was also sick, fever and sore throat. Her brother, Al, had a low grade fever and ached all over. I haven’t felt well either. I have had a sore throat and fever. There must be something going around because even their father, George feels hot to the touch.