tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4004382939813970462024-03-13T23:51:20.676-07:00Thrive ChristiansWelcome to Thrive Christians. "Now to Him (Jesus Christ) who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21. NKJVUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger357125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-57557683432757475002011-08-20T16:59:00.000-07:002011-08-20T17:02:52.043-07:00Kay's backBloggers Can't Stop....But Sometimes They Stall
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<br />Warp speed living is slowing down to steady run and I am back to writing this blog. I am thriving on the inside and that was the call of this blog from day one. On the outside everyone is being challenged in this "new world" of upside down finances.
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<br />Christians' know their source is God. Therefore we are called to walk in peace ... no matter what.
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<br />How's your thriving and peace walking going for you?
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-34053454930306602252010-01-31T06:33:00.000-08:002010-01-31T06:38:37.666-08:00Overwhelmed HelpsMy new management job is pushing me to the limits. I love the work and I believe in the importance of the mission. This is a one year position so I keep telling myself "You can do anything for only one year."<br /><br />I am using every project management gem of wisdom I have ever learned.<br /><br />Since I have little time to do anything but work I am calling on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">bloggers</span>.<br /><br />You are the smartest folks I know!!!<br /><br />So what works for you when deadlines are overlapping and a staff looks up and asks "What's next?"<br /><br />I'm all into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Gantt </span>charts, post it notes, datebooks, Outlook and anything I can work on in Excel and Access.<br /><br />Champs....I can't wait.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-63157702477036700272010-01-15T03:45:00.000-08:002010-01-15T03:53:30.369-08:00Fussy?Oswald Chambers' daily devotion gets me where I need "getting."<br /><br />Yesterday I was all into "my" stuff in my head. As I read the day's wisdom nugget I felt the pinch of conviction. Chambers wrote that whatever initiates a believer to abandon their self efforts will eventually drive them to a time alone with God; ready to hear Him.<br /><br />Chamber's word for "stuff" was <em>fussy</em> things. Yes, again, Chambers nailed me. Today I rest in God being all He says He is in His Word. I trust Him. My life of possible worries...<em>fussy </em>man-created chaos...will not steal my joy and strength.<br /><br />Away with the <em>fussy! </em>On with what truly matters forever.<br /><br /><div align="center">In God I trust.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-29294424943916597592010-01-10T08:56:00.000-08:002010-01-10T09:00:31.368-08:00Neglect Will BiteI have neglected this blog. My laptop broke. My new job as manager in Census 2010 takes most of my time. So...I put off this blog until LATER.<br /><br />Some sexy little poster littered the blog. Isn't that what happens in all kinds of places when we fall into neglect?<br /><br />I'm back. Perhaps I'll only post a word...but I will not fall back into neglect. It's just too dangerous with <em>litter</em> so prevalent in cyberspace.<br /><br />Happy New Year.........Thrive Christians, and don't fall into the valley named NEGLECT.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-36650470363026447592009-11-26T06:41:00.000-08:002009-11-26T07:01:42.734-08:00I Thank God I Can Hear!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Sw6YOZ2fGOI/AAAAAAAABT4/7Lamocx9xGg/s1600/ear.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5408427575743551714" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 129px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 129px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Sw6YOZ2fGOI/AAAAAAAABT4/7Lamocx9xGg/s200/ear.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Last evening after work I got a manicure. Beside me was an old friend in her early sixties. She is a vibrant smart active woman that makes the world better. But I noticed she was watching me intensely as I talked. She apologized and then showed me hearing aids in each ear. She doesn't know if she has 1 or 5 years of limited hearing before she is deaf. She uses every moment of hearing and seeing to fine tune her lip reading. She has sought out other deaf women to learn how best to navigate this new world she is entering.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Wow!!! Smiles on her face and hope shining through her eyes she told me how she is pursing her writing dreams. We celebrated her great love of reading. But her attitude centered me on what matters this day. She shared with me how God is showing her He is with her and He will speak to her forever...no lip-reading needed.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">This day of Thanksgiving in America I have a long list of all I am thankful for, but I have decided to concentrate on the blessing of hearing. I will treasure every sound I hear: good or bad. </span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:verdana;">I can hear!!!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-88612873009651124012009-11-02T02:55:00.000-08:002009-11-02T03:32:33.611-08:00Power of One<div><span style="font-size:130%;">Have you ever imagined the power of your smile; word of encouragement; or small monetary help to another?</span><br /><br /><br /><br />My life has drastically changed since I became Quality Assurance for this 7 county Census 2010 office. Change brings immediate emotions good and bad to me. I've felt somewhat guilty because I'm not plugged into the church ministries I have become accustomed to being an active partner.<br /><br /><br /><br />Last night I was praying and asking God if all was well with me. Suddenly I remembered the week: There was the phone call to a new hire... she needed someone to hear how much she appreciated this job. She went on to tell me how dire it had become for her. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">never</span> rushed her.<br /><br />One of my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">friends is in a new place. Her</span> husband is permanently disabled and they have extreme financial issues. I took some of my increased pay to buy Angel Food groceries for them each month. </div><div></div><br /><div>Fellow workers have had different things come up and I've had the time and energy to help them out.<br /><br />I know my order of priorities: God, family, church and work. I'm finding wonderful ways to stay connected with my grown children. In fact, we seem closer because I can more easily identify with their work life.<br /><br />My church appreciates my increased tithe and offerings monetarily. But I am developing new connections for some of the ministries that will open doors for resources, etc.<br /><br />Amazingly, I am seeing that God is using me with the little I have after work powerfully. As I looked at all of this it hit me that I have "adopted" this one family with a disabled husband. They know when the hot water heater blows I will be their bridge/patch until they can pay me back with money or services. Sometimes God directs me to bless them with surprises such as the monthly groceries. I cannot help any more families this way and survive myself, but I am<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Su7CpfJ1HvI/AAAAAAAABTw/g_ADH0tEkqw/s1600-h/in+christ.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399467021256957682" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 170px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Su7CpfJ1HvI/AAAAAAAABTw/g_ADH0tEkqw/s200/in+christ.jpg" border="0" /></a> loving "being there" in Christ, for this one family.<br /><br />Wonder if God calls on those of us working with "enough" to adopt one family to be their backup? No medals, no speaking of it....just quietly in the name of Jesus Christ: Being There. The Power of The One in one!!!<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">I am called to do the works of Christ - John 14:12</span></strong></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-77808374227479392072009-10-26T15:05:00.000-07:002009-10-26T15:13:38.146-07:00Trusted and Triedsome census workers from our spring operation were called into the office today. It's been months since I had seen or talked with any of them. Decades separate us in age but oh, the experiences we share from the tough work makes us "family." One young man said, "I feel like I ought to hug you, Ms. Kay." So we did an imaginary hug several feet apart....you know all those rules about behavior etc.<br /><br />The bond between us can only occur in the heat of a severe challenge or a battle. We are all looking forward to being team members again. I thought all day about the power of the trust we each have earned in the heat of it all.<br /><br />I committed today to treasure that trust as I assume this new expanded responsibility among my tried and true friends and team members. Completing the mission accurately and on time is key, but simultaneously honoring this trust and faith in one another we each now have is eternally important.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br /> Got a tried and trust story?<br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-24140548074021337942009-10-20T15:18:00.000-07:002009-10-20T15:29:11.025-07:00<div align="left">Wow! You bloggers rock! Listen to my dialogue...can you tell I'm getting to hang out with some young people?<br /><br /><br /><br />Thanks for coming back. After that extended pause in posting I had resigned to bouncing back by starting all over again. I'm still short on time, but I have a reservoir of posts in my draft file that I will dispense day by day. Perhaps the connection will only be that to me they speak of living life fully and thriving! That is my mission on this blog...for you and me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Here goes one from a year ago.... <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/St2eV-hEBKI/AAAAAAAABTA/Tnt99bSwKl8/s1600-h/rest.jpg"></a>Many years ago my mentor would listen to my ra<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/St44n8MKJ1I/AAAAAAAABTI/ZrQmF38RK1I/s1600-h/rest.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394811662459610962" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 158px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 135px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/St44n8MKJ1I/AAAAAAAABTI/ZrQmF38RK1I/s200/rest.jpg" border="0" /></a>nt of all my “spiritual” works and my fatigue; and when I would finally pause, she would speak slowly with authority, “Kay, rest in the Lord. Rest, rest Kay.” Being a driven striver I had no idea what she was talking about. We still have chuckles remembering my fight to get to the rest of God. I literally laid down and felt only boredom. Blonde, eh?<br /><br /><br /><br />Through her prayers and much Bible mining I live in the rest of God. I seek to live and abide in that beautiful rest every moment of my life.<br /><br />In Hebrews 4:1-3 Paul helped me with these words, “Let us therefore fear, lest a promise being left us of entering into His rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it. For we which have believed do enter into rest.”<br /><br /><br /><br />In Strong’s concordance this Greek word for rest is katapausis (Strong’s G2663): Putting to rest; calming of the winds. A resting place; metaphor: the heavenly blessedness in which God dwells, and of which He has promised to make preserving believers in which God dwells, and of which He has promised to make preserving believers in Christ partakers after the toils and trials of life on earth are ended.<br /><br /><br /><br />Since that struggle with my mentor over resting in the Lord I have faced much greater issues, but I have not struggled and suffered as I did before I had this revelation of living in rest. "My soul finds rest in God alone"<br /><br /><br /><br />Psalm 62:1. Rest in this verse is the Hebrew word -<em> damiy</em> -- quietness. Charles Spurgeon said this about this verse "<strong>The presence of God alone could awe his heart into quietude, submission, rest and acquiescence.”</strong><br /><br /><br /><br />After years of seeking with a passionate struggle I finally collapsed from self effort, looking to other people and trying to earn my right to the “rest and peace of God.” Finally I realized that my main problem was unbelief... Verse 19: "They were not able to enter [God's rest] because of unbelief."<br /><br /><br /><br />Until I faced that I believed in my problems more than I believed in the power of God and that He was on my side, I had no rest. Now I fear unbelief more than I fear my problems or other people. My question now is, “Is God able?” If I believe He is in all things I am in His rest.<br /><br /><br /><br />I live everyday diligently placing my mind on the awesome God I surrender all to. It is my intention to see every problem and challenge through my knowledge of God in my life, God in the Bible and God working in others’ lives. I work at remembering His promises instead of dwelling on the calamity of the day shouted through the media.<br /><br /><br /><br />This does not come to me automatically. I come to my day with healthy fear of God and diligently trust Him anew in all things. That great sermon of Stephen as the “stoners” were warming up said, "the Most High does not dwell in houses made with hands" (Acts 7:48), and quoted God's statement from Isaiah 66:1: "'Heaven is My throne, and earth is the footstool of My feet; What kind of house will you build for Me?' says the Lord; 'Or what place is there for My rest (Greek katapauseos)?'" (Acts 7:49).<br /><br /><br /><br />Those of us are in the "household" that Jesus Christ has built (3:6), in the church of the living God, in Christian people. Having "Christ in us, the hope of glory" (Col. 1:27). I see this individually and corporately.l Years ago I was so conflicted with church religious performance and the inner "rest" of relying on God's grace. Through the love of God, and my mentor; God led me to Himself. I accomplish more these day and my work is my delight (most days it doesn’t feel like work). Oh could we all comprehend Paul….” "the better rest of God" and cease from their "works" as God has rested from His works in Hebrews 4:10. Jesus Christ is enough.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong> Rest in the Lord Always</strong></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-2258834676587508512009-10-18T14:09:00.000-07:002009-10-18T14:26:12.249-07:00Kay's back at the keyboard<div>Blogging friends, I have missed you. Life filled up for me and I truly had no time or strength to write a post. On the last post I shared with you that someone in my family was ill.</div><div>The good news is that the doctor got the tests back and was relieved his fears were not confirmed by the tests. A slight nutrition changes is all that's needed. Whee! Thank you for your prayers.</div><br /><div></div><div>Then my new management job Assistant Manager for Quality Assurance cranked up and I have been in intense training out of town continually for weeks. I love this work in management with census and I have an extremely important job overseeing several hundred workers in 7 counties. I know there is no way I could be selected for the job with so many people needing work unless God's favor had been working in my life. I am focused to give this position all that it needs for me to do my job well.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/StuHZWBkjKI/AAAAAAAABS4/8hyr4fzjac0/s1600-h/procrastinate.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394053848184949922" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 84px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 127px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/StuHZWBkjKI/AAAAAAAABS4/8hyr4fzjac0/s200/procrastinate.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I could have written a post on Thursday or Friday, but procrastination raised his head. As I write today I wonder why, but then it hits me. After so much time away I wanted to wow you and me. Ain't it just awful how that ole' performance monster comes in and messes with us?</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>Vanilla, plain and no drama.......but life is good. I've never needed my Lord more and appreciated Him and all who live with Him as Lord of their lives. Thriving as His daughter is still my passion. As I live this life I want to live it wide open in Christ. I have some challenges facing me in a few weeks with this assignment with the census that will only be accomplished as I lean into Him. May you begin this week with me: Knowing He is Enough...no matter what!!!</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-43600059783243070992009-09-17T06:39:00.000-07:002009-09-17T07:10:33.915-07:00My Prayer is Moans & Groans; But Hears Me<div>A dear loved one received bad news from the doctor this week. Six huge vials of blood were drawn to be sure no horrific diseases are working in this person. For many I am viewed as the mighty never fail prayer warrior. After all we've been through in the last few years all I can do was moan. Thankfully the Bible tells me the Holy Spirit interprets my moans and groans and sends word to Heavenly Father God.<br /><br />But I wantto pray....I've tried to pray. Finally I phoned a mighty man and woman of God who have been there for me for decades. These pastors are well known and I will not divulge their names, but we have prayed for one another and God has always been faithful.<br /><br />When I heard his voice; I calmed down. When she came on the phone I felt we were in a group hug. Heaven came down and the one thought that had remained in my mind was what he spoke what He was believing God in doing in this matter. Whew!!<br /><br />He will phone this person wrestling with the what-if's until we hear on Tuesday. Since my husband was a great physician we feel his loss the most when one of us is ill. He would spend whatever time needed talking us through all the possibilities, etc until we were calm. Now we're just patients and the great doctors give us reasonable time; not daddy/hubby doc time.<br /><br />I sit here in peace today. With this couple on board all in my family are back at work. All of us are concerned, but not overwrought.<br /><br />BE THERE for one another is so key to thriving christian living. I've been there for this couple and now they are there for me. Knitted together through the years we have a seamless relationship with prompt loving responses. Plural is a key word in thriving Christan living. It is tempting to pursue God as a solo might warrior, but it can't work. These times come in every one's lives. Tight loving relationships are God's plan and I believe they are what He uses to bless and protect us.<br /><br />Locally I have a group who work in ministry with me. They are all praying and many others <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SrJDD7ACmSI/AAAAAAAABSw/1lBpnxamDkU/s1600-h/verizon.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382438239317694754" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 165px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 108px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SrJDD7ACmSI/AAAAAAAABSw/1lBpnxamDkU/s200/verizon.jpg" border="0" /></a>connected to my family. I feel like a Verizon commercial with one huge Heavenly component: through Jesus Christ all of Heaven is backing up this miracle.<br /><br />I'll moan and groan with all that is in me. I'm just the backup singer to the main ones calling up to God and thanking Him for what He has already done!!! Wholeness, healing, and manifestation of His Glory is going on in this hurting place.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-1996675300864379312009-09-15T04:10:00.000-07:002009-09-15T04:26:00.467-07:00Starting is Easy...Starting is Easy Finishing is hard. <br /><br />I have this saying hanging over my desk. In my kitchen redo this could be my motto. Hoping all would be completed this week I began to get ready to enjoy my new kitchen. But the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">counter top</span> man didn't complete his work and now everyone has to wait on him.<br /><br />Finishing becomes harder when anyone on the team fails to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">deliver</span> their part on time. I hope I hold the disgusted looks on the plumber, carpenters and appliance workers as we discovered the promised <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">counter tops</span> were not ready. Why do I want to hold onto those looks? If possible I never want to be the one who holds up the rest of team from completing tasks on time.<br /><br />Finishing is hard, but it will come sooner and easier if we all work to best performance, on time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-58801709544493653862009-09-10T12:36:00.000-07:002009-09-10T12:43:21.352-07:00Tiny Things Matter to GreatnessI'm tiling a bathroom floor and cutting tiny pieces to finish the design is critical to the overall look and use of the floor. As I tediously measure and cut I remind myself that sometimes I see myself as a tiny insignificant part of society, church and life. In American culture age is not an asset. I never want to be anything but American but I do look at Oriental cultures are turn a bit green. My white hair and wrinkles speak to the Orientals as wise and experienced. If I pay attention to the media I'd feel utterly over the hill.<div><br /></div><div>But I as I carefully cut these last pieces I will treasure those times that I may only have a little to give in tithe in the offering plate. Perhaps my strength is limited in some offerings for jobs coming up in ministry. I don't exude youth and vitality in my appearance. But I matter as does every single person. </div><div><br /></div><div>The tiling of this floor is getting to be more fun now that I identify with the tiny finishing pieces!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>I have so much sweat and time in this bathroom I'm threatening to make it a toll only use bathroom!!!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-83996170939231414402009-09-05T09:00:00.000-07:002009-09-05T13:40:40.756-07:00Do You Know What You Want?"She's easy to get along with," one of the electricians said to his buddy when I answered a question this morning in the kitchen redo. <div><br /></div><div>"Oh, yeah because she knows what she wants. She's got a plan in writing that she is working from and she has already explored the possibilities before we arrived. Oh, if all our clients would do this for us and themselves," he declared.</div><div><br /></div><div>He's right, on this kitchen, I've done my homework. I have a written sketched plan and when asked a question I'm quick to tell you what I want. But in other areas of my life I need to:</div><div><ul><li>Do my homework<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SqKN9bg9r6I/AAAAAAAABSo/j7js2eG_pDY/s200/write+now.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 121px; height: 130px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378016991531347874" /></li><li>Explore with God my possibilities</li><li>As the Bible exhorts me: Write the vision and make it plain...Habakkuk 2:2</li><li>Destiny, ministry, life work and life investment....I need to know who I am, what I want and what I hear God wants</li></ul><div>Good friend, do you know what you want?</div><div><br /></div><div>Have you done your homework and put your vision in writing?</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-45079993136645813102009-09-03T04:08:00.000-07:002009-09-03T04:21:56.153-07:00Can You Dance?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Sp-mvf6loII/AAAAAAAABSg/i0CUU7Hxs7c/s1600-h/dance+sunset.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 108px; height: 118px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Sp-mvf6loII/AAAAAAAABSg/i0CUU7Hxs7c/s200/dance+sunset.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377199815054958722" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br />In the middle of my total kitchen renovation I'm finding I can still "dance." 'Every day the carpenters, plumbers, electricians, and others throw me a new surprise. This old house built in the sixties has a surprise at many turns. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Thank God, I can still "dance" and I'm not undone when the plan doesn't work. A few times I've tripped over my own feet, but I remove myself and take a breath and lift a prayer. I come back to the chaos and together the pros and I work out a new plan.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">It hit me this morning that I need to hold onto this "dance" beyond my kitchen redo. Life in USA in 2009 is most unpredictable. I need to dance when the flu spreads and DHEC directs some changes in community life. FDIC is running out of money and there may be some bank "holidays" coming up to accommodate all bank closings. October 1st I start my new management job with 2010 and I need to be sure I'm wearing my "dancing shoes."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">In the blog world it's not all about me. I throw the question to you: Can you dance?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-27243680985721770542009-08-31T01:46:00.000-07:002009-08-31T01:53:51.841-07:00Watch it! Do You Know Who You're Talking To?<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;font-size:14px;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-size:16px;"><b><big><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Do you think much about your conversations with your self?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">This morning I was reading my daily devotion from Rabbi Pliskin and I was impacted by these words:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Speak To Yourself Serenely</span></i></big></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /></span></i><p></p><p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">You are the person with whom you talk to most often. To become a serene person, consistently talk to yourself serenely.</span></i></p><p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Become aware of the tone of your voice when you speak to yourself. This often is so automatic that many people never consider it an issue. But it can be a major factor in whether or not you are usually serene.</span></i></p><p></p><p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.37)</span></i></p><p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></i></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I am careful with my words to "me" and what I say out loud about me and mine. This was not always the case. But a few years ago I heard a message that changed my life. It seems our own voice may have more power over us than any other voice. Think about it. You've been hearing your voice all your life. Your brain picks up on the familiarity of your voice. When I truly want to recall a new teaching I read the material aloud to get it etched on my mind. That one exercise should direct me to only speak over me and mine what I hope will occur.</span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Not even in jest do I ever speak what I would not want in me and my loved ones.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">What do you say?</span></b></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-72061516052221303772009-08-26T04:10:00.000-07:002009-08-26T06:12:23.470-07:00Can I Handle Blessings?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">The last twelve years have been challenging. If you're new to wholehearted Christianity let me interpret that phrase for you: Life Has been Hard!!! There were times I wasn't sure I'd make it, but God showed up at every turn just in time. How bad was it Kay? Well some things are personal but let me take all the air out and list a few challenges:</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Family: brain tumors, lung cancer, marriage crisis, money fears, other health challenges, witness to child molestation,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> unsure of career direction, hearing God's call to write but not finding my voice to fulfill call, mother's illness and then becoming her total care-giver in my </span></div><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SpUnf4yCbcI/AAAAAAAABSY/DXXN26LtfAg/s200/well.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 104px; height: 104px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374245159108242882" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">home for several years, husband's sudden illness and death, handling the closing of busy medical office suddenly.....CHALLENGES.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">In the last few weeks I have been blessed financially, answered prayers for family and friends, great new job, writing opportunities, help remodeling my home, and a sense of rest in God</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> I've prayed for. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">But yesterday I was phoned by my cpa to setup an appointment. I sighed when he called. My greatest fears must have been realized, the IRS wanted more money than I had anticipated. But he wanted the meeting to go over some possible medical group investment that I might be eligible to receive money from since my husband had died. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I should have been elated, but I had no where to place all this. I have been in "make it" mode for so long I had no familiar coping for one favor and blessing after another. A friend phoned me immediately after this call with a need for prayer on some difficult times in her life. Then I felt guilty that she had this hardship and I was being blessed. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I happened to have "Everyone Loves Raymond" on the television. The episode playing showed Raymond winning writer of the year. He was sharing his good news with his family. By the time his dad and mom picked it apart he was deflated and they accused him of bragging. When he got back to his home his wife gave him the bad news that his new position would force him to cover the sled races in Alaska. This was a terrible assignment. Ray smiled and la</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">ughed. His wife was puzzled. Raymond explained, "For a few minutes I thought I could believe this award and promotion meant I was in a good successful place. This was new for me, but just maybe it was my turn. But now that you tell me this I realize I'm not the one who has things work out for me. I live in a hard place; life is always hard for me."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Sadly, I could identify with Raymond. The fear of disappointment can cancel out the joy in a time of blessing. God is having to help me learn how to receive all of His blessings at one time. I've been climbing up hill with danger all around for many years. I, like Raymond, got accustomed to walking with trouble. The Bible shows this same mindset in the Israelites after God delivered them. I refuse to act like the Israelites who couldn't embrace the unfamiliarity of the Promised Land, because they got too accustomed to desert living. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Yes, I know the "desert," but I am adaptable and I know the <i>giants</i> are big in this new land. But the faithful God in the desert is also faithful in the Promised Land. I don't walk in my own knowing; no, I am surrendered and belong to the Lord Jesus Christ.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Thank You, Lord, for the life You give me. I know You in loss,</span></div><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SpUnfYDVhSI/AAAAAAAABSQ/whD9gyNmwTk/s200/heaven+window.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 124px; height: 93px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374245150322427170" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> pain, and when nothing seems to be working. Lord, I thank You when blessings come my way that can logically seem impossible. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">This is the day that You have made and I rejoice in it!!! New terrain, new skills, and thanking You, Lord God, for all things:</span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> up, down </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">cold, hot</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">peace, war</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">lack, plenty</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">solitude, crowded</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">full, empty</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">heard, ignored</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">validated, invisible</span></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(64, 64, 64); line-height: 18px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24<br /></span></b></span></div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-81277191862277202582009-08-25T03:51:00.001-07:002009-08-25T04:21:26.840-07:00Watch It Lady, Don't Break in Line<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SpPIJXIPCyI/AAAAAAAABSI/z60VfrymBwk/s1600-h/whistle.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5373858843536067362" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 69px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 95px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SpPIJXIPCyI/AAAAAAAABSI/z60VfrymBwk/s200/whistle.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>"The end of the line is way back there ...the guy with the orange bill hat is now the end," I sternly informed a poor book laden shopper Saturday. I must have looked like Lucy in the "Peanuts" cartoon. It was as though I assigned myself position as referee of line protocol. A lady in front of me chuckled. That really fired me off.<br /><br />"It goes back to being a skinny little school girl. I hated line breakers, and I still struggle with this. This is a good test of integrity. If you break in line, you stole someone else's time. You just exposed your integrity," Lucy-like Kay proclaimed.<br /><br />Holy Spirit has my ear and suddenly Lucy-like Kay was deflated. Thoughts filled my mind of all my integrity showing behaviors that would make a line-breaker give me a lecture. Oh, don't worry, my human flaws are not shockingly immoral and definitely not illegal. But I'm still a work in progress.<br /><br />Whee...thank God for Heavenly grace and mercy. I took off my black and white referee shirt and ditched the whistle. I didn't even look back at the 40 person deep line to be sure all was well.<br /><br />My favorite one day super fundraising book sale for literacy was a wisdom packing day. Oh, the books will be great to "chew" on all year. But the hurt little girl Kay from decades ago who must have been pushed back over and over in school lines finally gave up the fight. I may just purchase a collapsing chair so I can stand or sit in line for a long time and never break a sweat. If God needs someone to oversee the integrity of line standers He'll have to enlist someone else. I humbly resign.<br /><br />I'm so humbled by the "video" He showed me in my mind on Saturday that I am busy cleaning closets and tending to my to do list. I have much to do on ME; I really don't have the energy or time to police anyone else.<br /><br />Could this be what He meant when He said:<br /><br /><strong>"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3</strong><br /><strong></strong></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-49617844267112583212009-08-21T06:29:00.000-07:002009-08-21T10:37:57.514-07:00Playing Control Games in the Name of LoveControl writing is limiting my control of my life: Ha! Can't you tell from reading posts here at Thrive Christian that I've battled the control traps? I cannot casually write or speak on this subject because of the joy of freedom from this bondage and understanding that the Christian community appears to struggle with getting real on this issue. As I read through the last week's posts I need a break and I never meant to preach on this blog. Yesterday's post reads "preachy."<br /><br />But enough is enough. A few months from now I will return to this subject because I've heard your passion for interest in this area of relationship wisdom.<br /><br />Two key words come to my mind as I wind this series down: Love and Action.<br /><br />LOVE:<br />Months past I shared that my favorite hymn is "Jesus Loves Me." When I am full of the truth that Jesus loves me; <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">wart's</span> and all, my heart is full and running over with love. God only empowers me when I lay healthy boundaries in relationships with love. St. Paul wrote this truth so well in I Corinthians 13. We can use the best principles in our relationships but if we don't have love that lines up with God, we're wasting our time.<br /><br />ACTION:<br />I'm a well practised procrastinator. At the beginning of this year I found a book titled "Taking Action." I dare now to do action even if I may mess up; rather than postponing it. Action is key to everything in my life. I'm a trained speaker: talk can be cheap. In my relationships I am working on "action" in love that syncs with what I hear in prayer.<br /><br />As I close this I recall some game playing with my late mom toward the end of her life. Mother loved to eat out. No matter how busy life became for me I had lunch or dinner out with Mother in my planner and no one took priority over her. But regretfully I should have played the "Where shall we eat" game with Mother. She would try on outfits for days leading up <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">to</span> our outing. I'd pick her up and the game would begin:<br /><br />"You choose where we eat this time, Kay. Pick out a place," she would suggest with smiles across her face.<br /><br />"Mom, every time I pick a place you come up with all your indigestion reasons why my choice cannot work for you. I eat out all the time and this day is for you. I've got an iron-clad stomach and I'll enjoy any place you choose. Where do you want to eat?" I would matter-of-fact plain vanilla <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">bottom line</span> no affect reply.<br /><br />Mom would sigh with disappointment and say, "Now, that's is not what would happen. Come on tell me where you want to eat today."<br /><br />Years past I would suggest a place and sure enough she would moan and say, "Oh, honey I can't eat there because their food is so greasy. What do you think about Red Lobster?"<br /><br />Those times she was giggly with joy. I was so immature I was unhappy for being reeled in again.<br /><br />Later I refused the game. Now, my mom had persistence down pat. We might go back and forth for 15 minutes before she would <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">realize</span> I wasn't playing. Off to one of her three favorite restaurants we would go but she <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">wasn't</span>' as excited about it.<br /><br />Today I would do that differently. Yes, this may sound the opposite of this whole week on control, being controlled, passive aggressive deception, being honest, open, transparent and laying clear boundaries....but I loved my mother. Sometimes eighty something retirees deserve a little power brokering as long as the one being played knows what they are laying down. Loving action would lead me today to pick up my mom all dolled up and this is how that conversation <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">would</span> flow....<br /><br />"Mom, you look fantastic. Is that a new outfit?"<br /><br />"Oh, this old thing. I've had it for years. Do you think it looks o.k?"<br /><br />"You amaze me, Mother. You look half your age. Where do you want to eat lunch today?"<br /><br />"Oh, I picked out our last spot. You pick somewhere today."<br /><br />"Sullivan's Cafe downtown is a new place. I've heard it's great," I would reply.<br /><br />"Oh, Marie said they didn't have anything on the menu she could eat. Their air conditioner was too cool on her head. I just don't think I'm up to trying that after her review. What do you think about fish today?" Mom would probably say.<br /><br />"Oh, fish sounds good to me. Where did you have in mind?" I would eagerly ask her.<br /><br />"Red Lobster <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">with</span> those cheese biscuits and grilled flounder sounds good to me. But I want you to pick out a place," Mom would gleefully suggest.<br /><br />"I want to go to Red Lobster. Will that be o.k. with you, Mom?" I would sincerely reply.<br /><br />"Yes...oh yes, Kay, darling you have come up with a perfect suggestion," Mom would declare.<br /><br />Regrets...sometimes playing a game of control is a loving action. I'm learning every day; our Heavenly Father surprises me with His mercy and how I can live an abundant life as His merciful daughter.<br /><br />Got a thought on loving action?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-6138839406982664022009-08-18T04:05:00.001-07:002009-08-19T01:41:12.511-07:00Skin Crawling Term: MY MINISTRY<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Sou6nL3dijI/AAAAAAAABSA/z5vl6KL5yY4/s1600-h/th_conquerors-1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 160px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Sou6nL3dijI/AAAAAAAABSA/z5vl6KL5yY4/s200/th_conquerors-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371592162932525618" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">MY MINISTRY: is a term that causes my skin to crawl, my anger to perk and revulsion to jump in me. I can hear the wise people "nutting up" when they read this. I recall when I was all into MY MINISTRY. God used "Experiencing God" Bible study to set me straight on that term. I learned that anyone called of God is in partnership with Holy God in any ministry that they participate in. The power is God's through His anointing and the only thing you or I offer is availability and surrender. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My church life became loving and harmonious once I got this truth clear in my mind and heart. I perceive that pride and self adulation is 100% of all conflict issues in </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">church life</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">. I'm sure I have such a strong reaction because initially in God's call on my life I was consumed with being the best, excellent, etc. Knowing me, I had a "holy" tag on all that nasty pride; but it was pride in me nonetheless. Now I understand each of us has destiny in God and no one can change that. We can get in the way with attitudes, disobedience, etc., but no one can stop God working in me for His destiny through me.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I started this series with statements of surrender. Control cannot operate in flesh and sinful ways when I am surrendered totally to Holy God.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">C. S. Lewis wrote, </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">"Christ says, 'Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I want You</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> I have not come to torment your natural self, but to </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">kill it.</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> No half-measures are any good. I don't want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> to have it out</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires that you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked...</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">the whole outfit</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">. </span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will you Myself; my own will shall become yours</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">A Year with C.S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works, Edited by Patricia S. Klein (San Francisco: </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">HarperSanFrancisco</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">, 2003) 219.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Control</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">......God wants you and me to surrender control. I remember when God brought me to the place where He challenged me to surrender myself totally to Him. I had acknowledged Him as Lord, and He had come into my life and I had given Him certain parts, but I was still in control. Then a crisis came internally in me. Thank God for mighty mentors that wouldn't give in to me fighting dying to self. Finally I came to full surrender to Christ. He holds my controls....hallelujah. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Mike </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Breaux</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> of Willow Creek, "Jesus was an important part of my life, but He was like one spoke of a wheel. There were other spokes too...my ministry, my career, my marriage, my children, my love of sports. But although He was one of the important spokes, I was the hub. Then during a time when I was on a retreat by myself, He confronted me and said, 'Mike, I don't want to just be a spoke. I want to be the hub. I want to be at the center of everything you are and do. Will you turn your life over to Me in such a way that I'm the hub?'"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Is control an issue for you? Does surrender all make sense as the answer to controlling or being controlled to you?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-19933438135074523872009-08-18T03:13:00.000-07:002009-08-18T05:25:36.796-07:00Control Issues Count Most in Family<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br />There is no pain like the pain one family member can inflict on another family member. I keep studying controlling and being controlled because it matters in staying close and intimate with family members. Church life is family to me also. Probably aside from my mom, my deepest hurts have come through misunderstandings in church. To me this makes good sense. When I read in the New Testament what we the church are in God's eyes the closeness is God' s love and power working through us; yet in this is also our vulnerabi</span><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/Soqba6TJaDI/AAAAAAAABR4/PIdiUdq950E/s200/church" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 124px; height: 104px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371276392221206578" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">lity with one another.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Two Christian writers have helped me in church life most profoundly: </span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Francis Frangipane in his writings on becoming </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">unoffendable</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">R.T. Kendall in Total Forgiveness</span></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">In an intimate time of personal worship God summed up all these teachings and freed me from being overly upset with anyone in church . One day I was praying for a true problem I had detected in my church. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">As I would list the issues my thoughts would be interrupted with this thought, "Do you know the condition of your body?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">"Well, yes, Lord. I'm overweight, I'm not in good physical condition from lack of exercise, and I need to overhaul my eating habits. How did we move from Your best in church-life to gluttony?" I responded.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Then I went on and on about what I had discerned that didn't line up with scriptures. I felt I was an intercessor praying in line with God because I had no personal issues in the problems I was praying about. Heaven just had to be cheering such a "holy" saint like me! But then...."Kay, do you know the condition of your body?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">"Yes, Lord, I'm overweight, under exercised; what do You want me to see Lord?" I asked most puzzled.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Then this thought came to me, "If you a woman of limited skill can determine the condition of your body why do you think I'm unaware of My Body?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Whoa.......that set me straight on church life. Church was never man's idea. Church is God's creation. The Bible is clear that Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church; which Paul wrote of as His Body. Once I had that clear in my mind through this revelation I pray more and have answered prayers that are amazing. I pray in a positive manner thanking God that He is working in ways I cannot see and with timing that is perfect. When I share this with pastors most of them break out with a bit of sweat and their breathing speeds up. The ones close to God know they are appointed and anointed by God; not a set of deacons, elders, or money backing power brokers. Nope, church is God's idea and He manages His Body with or in spite of us.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I honor the theocracy of church in God's theocratic kingdom. No where in the Bible is democracy and voting a part of God's manner of operating His Kingdom and His Body/Church. I surrender in love to all in church. I seek God in prayer without gossip when I pick up on something out of line. I can't share the answered prayers because that wouldn't help my local church should some people read this, but trust me, God has answered prayers that line up with His love, mercy and the best interest of His Kingdom here on earth. I honor those in positions of authority and I look to God daily as I fulfill any work in my positions of authority in church.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I apologize for lengthy posts, but I'm so passionate about controlling and relationships. My plan is for 2 more posts on controlling. Again thank you for commenting. I have truly felt "out of control" in writing these posts. As I pray before posting I have changed my plan every day as God has led me to His working in me on control. I love it! May He bless you also.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-80539066409788852432009-08-17T07:06:00.000-07:002009-08-17T07:10:15.185-07:00Doubt God? Take Control Begins<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><b>Controlling or being controlled is directly connected to lack of faith of God directly working in my life.</b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I ask myself often, "Am I trying to control this situation or this person?" I know the need to be in control is present in all folks in many different methods. For over 20 years I have worked with mentors, quiet time with the Lord to overcome my controlling and being controlled coping methods. Freedom in Christ is the only way to live!!!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Here are a few danger signs I've learned:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">* Need to know all answers up front; and cannot wait patiently to how events evolve or what other people have planned in their lives.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">* Lack trust in other people's competency or the power of God to care of details in life.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">* Constant questioning, badgering and second-guessing of others' decisions.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">* Believing no one can have a plan as good or better than my plan.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">*Feeling I have the right to tell others what they need to do.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">* Easily becoming irritable, frustrated or angry when others don't do what I wanted.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Now that I know God is intimately involved in my life I don't fall into these traps. I believe the basis of the problem for most controlling people is really the lack of trust in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">The Bible shows us over and over God is trustworthy!!!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Of course God is the One Who is in control anyway. Matthew 6:27 states,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">A controlling person begins to relinquish control when they surrender their concerns to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 challenges people to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">What do you say about control issues being directly related to trust or the lack of trust in God?</span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-42357770457352866012009-08-14T03:59:00.000-07:002009-08-14T13:02:52.341-07:00Control: It's Not Personal, But It Feels Personal<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Relationships gummed up with controlling issues are complicated. As I write this series I recall all the pain I came through as God freed me from these coping means. As I've mentioned in earlier posts I was born in a home struggling with addiction issues and mental illness. The scientist would label my</span></div><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SoXA6YXbSCI/AAAAAAAABRI/n9boLElDSwE/s200/jesus+loves+me.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 100px; height: 100px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369910239914838050" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> upbringing as dysfunctional. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My mom handled her tough issues with passive aggressive behaviours. As I studied this for today I was hit up the side of the head with my own passive aggression. I was a bit surprised. Truth is that we all have some of these behaviors and in moderation this can be a cultural nicety. But I hope we can see the serious control factors that these behaviors hold that can prevent us from the free life Jesus Christ has secured for us.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">According to MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia -</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">“Passive-aggressive personality disorder is a chronic condition in which a person seems to passively comply with the desires and needs of others, but actually passively resists them, in the process becoming increasingly hostile and angry."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">According to Wikipedia-</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is, often explicitly, responsible. It is a defense mechanism and more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Passive Aggressive controllers could say or think the following:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">When I am frustrated I become silent, knowing it bothers other people.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I am prone to sulk or pout.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">When I don't want to do a project I will procrastinate. I can be lazy.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I do things in my own timing and if I am too slow or if I do things in a different manner, then others are just going to have to adjust to my way. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">If they don't like it, that's too bad.There are times when I am deliberately evasive so others won't bother me.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I sometimes approach work projects half-heartedly.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">When someone talks to me about our problems, I'll say what they want to hear then do what I want to do.I complain about people behind their backs, but resist the opportunity to be open with them face to face.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Sometimes I become involved in hidden misbehaviors.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I may not follow through on the favors people want me to do as a way of letting them know I didn't want to do them in the first place.</span></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Passive aggression is usually caused by a need to have control with the least amount of accountability. This form of anger is different from suppressed anger because the person is deliberately doing something knowing it will agitate the other person involved. Also, when people use this form of anger, it represents a fear based manner of handling conflicts.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Healthy relationships welcome openness, but passive-aggressives fear</span></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> that openness will be accompanied by too high of an emotional price.</span></span></b></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">(This came from http://www.drlescarter.com/angerpassive.asp</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Dr. Les Carter, author, of The Anger Trap)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">What Is the Behavior of a Passive-Aggressive Person?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Here are some of the obvious ways in which a person expresses anger or aggression passively. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Lateness and Forgetfulness: One of the traits of passive-aggressive behavior most difficult to tolerate is the person’s tendency to be late for appointments or other scheduled events. Being late may reflect both the person’s need to have the control in a situation and underlying feelings of inadequacy. And there is always an excuse...like, “I forgot what time it was”...when the person wants to explain away his or her actions or avoid an obligation.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Procrastination: The passive-aggressive person will commit to a project or deadline...and simply never get it done or else complete the task much too late. Other people who depend on the work being done, meanwhile, become infuriated.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Sending Mixed Messages: The person seldom communicates clearly and unambiguously, so that he or she can’t be pinned down. For example, “Maybe we can go out for dinner Friday night,” could be a plan or maybe just a suggestion or perhaps it’s just a way to keep you guessing. If you make a definite plan to go out, then the person can come back and say that he or she was just thinking out loud, and if you don’t make plans, then you are blamed for never coming through.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Pouting, Sulking and Lying: When the passive-aggressive person fails to keep promises and is confronted, a common response is to sigh, to withdraw from interacting, and to act as if they are being blamed unfairly. If they must give a response, there is often a fabrication of reality involved...and it is masterfully done. Open, constructive communication is virtually impossible when the other person is emotionally unavailable or deliberately distorting reality.</span></li></ul><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Feeling Victimized: When you finally put your foot down and expect a firm commitment, then you are the one to blame for trying to be controlling and demanding. The passive-aggressive person acts as if he or she is the helpless victim.</span><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SoXA7JIkp9I/AAAAAAAABRQ/8OdH9ZO_8Yc/s200/clock.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 129px; height: 129px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369910253005875154" /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">No one lacks value. Each of us is unique and precious.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> Showing up, being present, being on time says, "I am worth your time, and you are worth mine." Jesus Christ spent His pain, His</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> life, His blood to prove worth and value to each of us. There can be no question that each person believing in Him is of incredible value. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Today may we all be mindful of our time and pray for God to show us how to be responsible in using our time. May we please the Lord with our time. Human control needs: hands off. Our time is in His hands!!!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-84371298594679303102009-08-13T03:05:00.000-07:002009-08-13T04:47:50.396-07:00From Powerless to Powerful in Christ<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">If you feel power-less in some relationships I am believing you can come to being</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> powerful in Christ. I'm learning absolute surrender to Lord Jesus Christ opens up life with open hands and heart with others.</span></div><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SoP38Mafd9I/AAAAAAAABQg/FY-wDf5TfYM/s200/open+hands" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 133px; height: 86px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369407794252314578" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> Before I surrendered all I tried to protect myself and I lived much of my</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> life with clenched fists. No...not to knock out folks; to guard myself, feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Seems I had a hard time saying no to requests and I would end up overwhelmed in activities for family, church, school,</span></div><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SoP4HVXPpqI/AAAAAAAABQo/xvY6sLzA95w/s200/clinched+fist" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 92px; height: 78px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369407985633175202" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> community and work. I was tired and frustrated. Learning about boundaries and praying for God's best in my life was my breakthrough. My prayer today is that I can share what is working in my life. Hopefully, God will show you His </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">perfect way to untangle any areas of control and passivity in your life that block you from His thriving abundant life.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Yesterday I used my pastor's analogy of how a river can be a </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> powerful body of water if its banks are strong and keep the water contained to flow instead of seeping into the surrounding ground and make a swamp. The Bible tells me a river of living water will flow out of my belly. With eternal destiny in mind, I will use this river word picture throughout this series. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I'm discovering that boundaries:</span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> define who I am</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> say what I want</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> mark out what I don't want</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> state my goals and purpose for life and safeguard them</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> say where I end and another person starts</span></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My "river" has its banks. Other people can do whatever they want to in their "river" but they can't control the activity in my "river." These river banks are set and no one may redefine these parameters except me and the Lord.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Jesus Christ lived in His "river" beautifully and powerfully:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">- He left the crowds that </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">clamored</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> for His attention to care for Himself.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">- He did not allow His person or agenda to be changed or be redirected by anyone.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">- He stayed Himself regardless of what anyone else wanted.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">- He could not be tempted or swayed away from His purpose.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">He is my example of staying true to oneself.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I study His last hours often. He chose when He would even speak to all His interrogators when He was on trial; and when He would remain silent. That is ultimate refusal to be controlled on anyone else's agenda. In that intense crisis, He maintained His "river." He never gave up His control.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I had lived in reaction to others so completely I had a </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">difficult</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> time figuring out how to openly set my boundaries. I sneaked whatever control I had over my life through procrastination and other passive/aggressive means. Upfront planned conscious stating of boundaries was foreign to me. I am a Southern woman........we pride ourselves in never breaking a sweat or wrinkling our clothes with anything but perfect grace. Ha! I do have a bit of that in me; and it was a stumbling block to getting free in Christ.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I recall one time many decades ago. My husband and I hit one of those tough times in marriage and an older woman was counselling me asked me, "What do you want, Kay?" I was speechless. I had a thousand </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">ought's</span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">, </span></i><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">should's</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">, Bible verses, etc., but I was clueless on what I, Kay, wanted as a woman (not necessarily the wife, mother, church leader). The beginning of setting boundaries involved me searching my heart in prayer with Christ to discover;</span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">What I want</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">What I don't want</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">What I like</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">How I can best use my time, how I won't use my time.</span></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I imagine Jesus Christ living out my life and I imagine what boundaries would He insist on in this life. Once I had written all of this I had a "river" to start building the banks to hold it in place and prevent erosion that makes a river a swamp. It has changed in these years. Now, I am a widow and a writer. My boundaries of 20 years ago would not hold in this river to be powerful.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Now that I know what I want and don't want in my life (my borders) then it is easier to say "yes" to what fits and "no" to what does not so that I can pursue the Lord's plan for my life.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Boundary establishment probably brought the most change and the greatest pain of anything God has called for in my transformation as a Christian. The freedom and the peace of mind is more than worth it's cost, but I would be amiss if I didn't write that the pain was intense. Once my boundaries were in place I stopped letting others step on my toes. I was no longer pushed into doing </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">anything</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> that was not best for me in God's plan for my life. </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">On top</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> of all that; I did it (in time) guiltless! Oh hallelujah to the rid of guilt!!!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Discovery # 1:</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> Folks didn't like not being able to tell me what to do and how to do regularly. No matter how politely I declined church </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">volunteering</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> opportunities that I had before done to make leaders happy; I had folks on the outs with me.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Discovery # 2</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">: Controlling people </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">revved</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> up their tactics to try to push through my personal parameters. This was especially true of my mom.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Discovery # 3</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">: I had to keep my guard up and keep my calling clear in my mind or I would hand over my controls and find myself pressured and </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">manipulated</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> into something I shouldn't be doing. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Obviously I'm not "done" yet. A friend at church asked me to alter some clothes for her. She assured me there was no time pressure. But she emailed yesterday that she now realizes she needs them for this weekend. </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Bam</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">! I was up until very late wrestling with an aggravating sewing machine and finally I sewed the last stitch. I mean the last stitch. New rocks in my river boundary...no more sewing favors unless Holy God directs me to do it. I have a adult child in a tough place needing my undivided attention for a few days. Now, I'm tired and what would have been peaceful ministry will be ministry with fatigue. Perfect example of letting down the guard.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Good things can get in the way of best things.</span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Boundary establishment was my beginning of understanding how I never give my life controls to anyone but God. Developing my boundaries has given me understanding of other's boundaries. I'm convinced you can't overcome being controlled until you face where you are also controlling of others. Tomorrow I will jump into the ways I found I feared situations and I was the controller. Hold on, before this series is finished I may show you ways you subconsciously control others. In Christ you and I can truly handle all that comes to us in life. Fear has no way to drive us to surrendering our life controls or trying to control others.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Boundaries, control, and transparent honest living have to do with my faith in God, His Word and His promises to me. Lack of faith opens up the dangers of life lived out of fear. Shame and fear are the main backbones of all control coping. Shoot down shame and fear; control has no purpose.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Until tomorrow.........Live in peace!!!</span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-89956798798734198462009-08-12T05:46:00.000-07:002009-08-12T19:17:36.246-07:00Honest Moment<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">The promised series on controllers will begin this week. I'm stalled in posting because I am struggling with writing this from my heart. Blogging has again surprised me with opening up parts of me that I didn't know existed until I began to respond to your comments.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Some of you have written to me offline with requests for more information on getting free from being a controller or being controlled by <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">someone</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> else. This dialogue has touched my heart and my mind.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I sense I need to lay down some Biblical principles that lead me daily before we open up this serious discussion on living honestly in relationship without resorting to manipulation or deception.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My first giant step in this truth was in understanding Jesus words in John 5, "</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">seeth</span> the Father do: for what things soever he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">doeth</span>, these also <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">doeth</span> the Son likewise."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">For years I pondered how divine Jesus would need to look to Father God for all His actions. But now I see in part that Jesus came fully God, fully human, to model life for us. As He lived He and Father God were one and did all things from Heaven's perspective and in Heavenly power with Holy Spirit working in and with them.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Why was this so key in my understanding of free living without manipulation? I don't look to my own resources in living now that I am in Christ. I live every minute looking to Jesus who is looking to Father God; on what needs to be done this moment. When I am clear on this focus I am not prey to giving into people pleasing; acting like savior wonder woman Kay; needing to prove my greatness; competitiveness of wanting to be best; fear of what others might do to me....on and on and on.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I am moved by Heaven's unction!!! My trust is in God. Only in understanding this one verse was I free to dare to live with openness, and manage living with all people; even those who operate out of fear, shame and bullying. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Recently our pastor has been preaching on strong healthy relationships. He has spent much time on teaching us how to establish boundaries in our living. He said, "A river is a healthy flowing</span></div><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f2GOpMgaPuI/SoK_oXVR1CI/AAAAAAAABQY/hlRjsYZ_h94/s200/river" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 140px; height: 99px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369064405957989410" /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> life giving body of water because it has banks that keep it contained. If the banks erode as in Hurricane Katrina; a river becomes a stagnate swamp without life giving strength."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Tomorrow I will post the first portion of the trap of trying to control and manipulate others in our lives. I'm pouring my heart out and I am being blessed by your response. Here on Thrive Christian Blog your input is key to God moving us to truth to His Thriving Life in Jesus Christ. Please speak up on this touchy subject....I need to learn from you.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400438293981397046.post-89183355066158406142009-08-10T03:04:00.000-07:002009-08-10T04:24:43.579-07:00Whose Holding Your Life Switches?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">"You're making me miserable. I won't allow you to take control of this club. You can't control me," snarled a leader of a writing group to me. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">"Take control? I have no desire to control this club, you or anyone else. But I will not be controlled by anyone but the Lord Himself. If you handed me your control panel; take it back because I don't want it. I never requested it. But I still stand by the boundaries I laid down for me. If that is a problem I will discuss this with you later," was my calm response to this </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">perfectionist</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> overwhelming leader.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">She went </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">ballistic</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">. I was smiling a strange smile that only God and I understood. My fellow writers jumped in to try to calm the strong leader who was accustomed to people coming to attention when she barked loudly enough. She was ranting about this and that, and I truly was unaffected except to be concerned for her goodwill. Finally a new writer just swept me up in her arms and physically loved on me.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My smile...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My calm...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My surprise in my own words....</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">were part of God's tutoring me on how to manage life. For all of my life I had danced to the rhythm of anyone around me that exercised the most control or need. My mom had many emotional problems and I sense I was encouraged by aunts and family to keep her "calm" and happy. Now, I see well meaning folks gave a little child the responsibility to keep her mother sane. Wow! That's a </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">biggee</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Bit by bit I developed mechanisms to please folks; no matter what. In that mindset I lost me; and what truly mattered to me. The poor writer's club leader just happened to be the first "controller" to encounter Free Kay! I had come through work with a Christian mentor and weeks of time in Bible study on being a strong healthy balanced Christian woman. I'm sure I needed some fine tuning in delivery, but I didn't buckle under and I didn't resort to her tyrannical manner.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I'm sure I didn't handle responsibility in full balance up until this point. My mom had displayed a manipulative passive/aggressive manner throughout my life. Now, I was laying down boundaries in my life. I had prayed on my purpose, destiny and the priorities in my life that pleased God. That week I had laid some big ones down with my mom. She came totally unglued, but then in the end she got it. That began some of the best interaction we had had together. So, this encounter with the group leader was days after I had been clear with my mom. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">The vivid image of taking my writing club leader's control panel was repulsive to me. The weeks of seeking God's best in my life as a mature woman had been painful. Daring to confront my mom on being upfront and straight forward in our interactions had been painful for her. The leader had no idea what was going on with Kay. She was accustomed to the "yes" girl. Whatever anyone wanted Kay would try to do. But now Kay was laying down some boundaries. The leader's need for ultimate control was challenged and she reacted with loud forceful orders.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">She was right on the point that I was no longer in her control. From that standpoint I was controlling her agenda. She had been accustomed to counting on 100% unconditional submission from me. Now, I was laying out times, assignments, etc. that worked for me with the other </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">responsibilities</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> in my life.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">If controllers are hurting your life be prepared for new pain if you come into God's plan for living free. If you have lived as a people </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">pleaser</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> more than a God </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">pleaser</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">; there is hard work ahead. But ....hear me; the payback is amazing. No one holds my life control panel but God and me!!! Don't you want to live free?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Tomorrow we will explore how anyone ever falls into the trap of becoming a controller. Remember our goal is to get free; utterly free. When you are free in Christ you can truly love and pray for the controllers.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Do you have a story of being controlled, controlling or being free from either case.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">We were designed to worship something, and when we fail to worship God, we create gods (idols) to surrender ourselves to. E. Stanley Jones said, </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">“If you don’t surrender to Christ, you surrender to chaos.” You’re free to choose what you surrender to, but you’re not free from the consequences of that choice: “So give yourselves completely to God” (James 4:7 NCV). </span></span></b></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2