Thrive Christians

Power of One

2009-11-02T02:55:00.000-08:00

Have you ever imagined the power of your smile; word of encouragement; or small monetary help to another?

My life has drastically changed since I became Quality Assurance for this 7 county Census 2010 office. Change brings immediate emotions good and bad to me. I've felt somewhat guilty because I'm not plugged into the church ministries I have become accustomed to being an active partner.

Last night I was praying and asking God if all was well with me. Suddenly I remembered the week: There was the phone call to a new hire... she needed someone to hear how much she appreciated this job. She went on to tell me how dire it had become for her. I never rushed her.

One of my friends is in a new place. Her husband is permanently disabled and they have extreme financial issues. I took some of my increased pay to buy Angel Food groceries for them each month.

Fellow workers have had different things come up and I've had the time and energy to help them out.

I know my order of priorities: God, family, church and work. I'm finding wonderful ways to stay connected with my grown children. In fact, we seem closer because I can more easily identify with their work life.

My church appreciates my increased tithe and offerings monetarily. But I am developing new connections for some of the ministries that will open doors for resources, etc.

Amazingly, I am seeing that God is using me with the little I have after work powerfully. As I looked at all of this it hit me that I have "adopted" this one family with a disabled husband. They know when the hot water heater blows I will be their bridge/patch until they can pay me back with money or services. Sometimes God directs me to bless them with surprises such as the monthly groceries. I cannot help any more families this way and survive myself, but I am loving "being there" in Christ, for this one family.

Wonder if God calls on those of us working with "enough" to adopt one family to be their backup? No medals, no speaking of it....just quietly in the name of Jesus Christ: Being There. The Power of The One in one!!!

I am called to do the works of Christ - John 14:12

Trusted and Tried

2009-10-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

some census workers from our spring operation were called into the office today. It's been months since I had seen or talked with any of them. Decades separate us in age but oh, the experiences we share from the tough work makes us "family." One young man said, "I feel like I ought to hug you, Ms. Kay." So we did an imaginary hug several feet apart....you know all those rules about behavior etc.

The bond between us can only occur in the heat of a severe challenge or a battle. We are all looking forward to being team members again. I thought all day about the power of the trust we each have earned in the heat of it all.

I committed today to treasure that trust as I assume this new expanded responsibility among my tried and true friends and team members. Completing the mission accurately and on time is key, but simultaneously honoring this trust and faith in one another we each now have is eternally important.

Got a tried and trust story?

2009-10-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Wow! You bloggers rock! Listen to my dialogue...can you tell I'm getting to hang out with some young people?

Thanks for coming back. After that extended pause in posting I had resigned to bouncing back by starting all over again. I'm still short on time, but I have a reservoir of posts in my draft file that I will dispense day by day. Perhaps the connection will only be that to me they speak of living life fully and thriving! That is my mission on this blog...for you and me.

Here goes one from a year ago.... Many years ago my mentor would listen to my rant of all my “spiritual” works and my fatigue; and when I would finally pause, she would speak slowly with authority, “Kay, rest in the Lord. Rest, rest Kay.” Being a driven striver I had no idea what she was talking about. We still have chuckles remembering my fight to get to the rest of God. I literally laid down and felt only boredom. Blonde, eh?

Through her prayers and much Bible mining I live in the rest of God. I seek to live and abide in that beautiful rest every moment of my life.

In Hebrews 4:1-3 Paul helped me with these words, “Let us therefore fear, lest a promise being left us of entering into His rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it. For we which have believed do enter into rest.”

In Strong’s concordance this Greek word for rest is katapausis (Strong’s G2663): Putting to rest; calming of the winds. A resting place; metaphor: the heavenly blessedness in which God dwells, and of which He has promised to make preserving believers in which God dwells, and of which He has promised to make preserving believers in Christ partakers after the toils and trials of life on earth are ended.

Since that struggle with my mentor over resting in the Lord I have faced much greater issues, but I have not struggled and suffered as I did before I had this revelation of living in rest. "My soul finds rest in God alone"

Psalm 62:1. Rest in this verse is the Hebrew word - damiy -- quietness. Charles Spurgeon said this about this verse "The presence of God alone could awe his heart into quietude, submission, rest and acquiescence.”

After years of seeking with a passionate struggle I finally collapsed from self effort, looking to other people and trying to earn my right to the “rest and peace of God.” Finally I realized that my main problem was unbelief... Verse 19: "They were not able to enter [God's rest] because of unbelief."

Until I faced that I believed in my problems more than I believed in the power of God and that He was on my side, I had no rest. Now I fear unbelief more than I fear my problems or other people. My question now is, “Is God able?” If I believe He is in all things I am in His rest.

I live everyday diligently placing my mind on the awesome God I surrender all to. It is my intention to see every problem and challenge through my knowledge of God in my life, God in the Bible and God working in others’ lives. I work at remembering His promises instead of dwelling on the calamity of the day shouted through the media.

This does not come to me automatically. I come to my day with healthy fear of God and diligently trust Him anew in all things. That great sermon of Stephen as the “stoners” were warming up said, "the Most High does not dwell in houses made with hands" (Acts 7:48), and quoted God's statement from Isaiah 66:1: "'Heaven is My throne, and earth is the footstool of My feet; What kind of house will you build for Me?' says the Lord; 'Or what place is there for My rest (Greek katapauseos)?'" (Acts 7:49).

Those of us are in the "household" that Jesus Christ has built (3:6), in the church of the living God, in Christian people. Having "Christ in us, the hope of glory" (Col. 1:27). I see this individually and corporately.l Years ago I was so conflicted with church religious performance and the inner "rest" of relying on God's grace. Through the love of God, and my mentor; God led me to Himself. I accomplish more these day and my work is my delight (most days it doesn’t feel like work). Oh could we all comprehend Paul….” "the better rest of God" and cease from their "works" as God has rested from His works in Hebrews 4:10. Jesus Christ is enough.

Rest in the Lord Always

Kay's back at the keyboard

2009-10-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

Blogging friends, I have missed you. Life filled up for me and I truly had no time or strength to write a post. On the last post I shared with you that someone in my family was ill.

The good news is that the doctor got the tests back and was relieved his fears were not confirmed by the tests. A slight nutrition changes is all that's needed. Whee! Thank you for your prayers.

Then my new management job Assistant Manager for Quality Assurance cranked up and I have been in intense training out of town continually for weeks. I love this work in management with census and I have an extremely important job overseeing several hundred workers in 7 counties. I know there is no way I could be selected for the job with so many people needing work unless God's favor had been working in my life. I am focused to give this position all that it needs for me to do my job well.

I could have written a post on Thursday or Friday, but procrastination raised his head. As I write today I wonder why, but then it hits me. After so much time away I wanted to wow you and me. Ain't it just awful how that ole' performance monster comes in and messes with us?

Vanilla, plain and no drama.......but life is good. I've never needed my Lord more and appreciated Him and all who live with Him as Lord of their lives. Thriving as His daughter is still my passion. As I live this life I want to live it wide open in Christ. I have some challenges facing me in a few weeks with this assignment with the census that will only be accomplished as I lean into Him. May you begin this week with me: Knowing He is Enough...no matter what!!!

My Prayer is Moans & Groans; But Hears Me

2009-09-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

A dear loved one received bad news from the doctor this week. Six huge vials of blood were drawn to be sure no horrific diseases are working in this person. For many I am viewed as the mighty never fail prayer warrior. After all we've been through in the last few years all I can do was moan. Thankfully the Bible tells me the Holy Spirit interprets my moans and groans and sends word to Heavenly Father God.

But I wantto pray....I've tried to pray. Finally I phoned a mighty man and woman of God who have been there for me for decades. These pastors are well known and I will not divulge their names, but we have prayed for one another and God has always been faithful.

When I heard his voice; I calmed down. When she came on the phone I felt we were in a group hug. Heaven came down and the one thought that had remained in my mind was what he spoke what He was believing God in doing in this matter. Whew!!

He will phone this person wrestling with the what-if's until we hear on Tuesday. Since my husband was a great physician we feel his loss the most when one of us is ill. He would spend whatever time needed talking us through all the possibilities, etc until we were calm. Now we're just patients and the great doctors give us reasonable time; not daddy/hubby doc time.

I sit here in peace today. With this couple on board all in my family are back at work. All of us are concerned, but not overwrought.

BE THERE for one another is so key to thriving christian living. I've been there for this couple and now they are there for me. Knitted together through the years we have a seamless relationship with prompt loving responses. Plural is a key word in thriving Christan living. It is tempting to pursue God as a solo might warrior, but it can't work. These times come in every one's lives. Tight loving relationships are God's plan and I believe they are what He uses to bless and protect us.

Locally I have a group who work in ministry with me. They are all praying and many others connected to my family. I feel like a Verizon commercial with one huge Heavenly component: through Jesus Christ all of Heaven is backing up this miracle.

I'll moan and groan with all that is in me. I'm just the backup singer to the main ones calling up to God and thanking Him for what He has already done!!! Wholeness, healing, and manifestation of His Glory is going on in this hurting place.

Starting is Easy...

2009-09-15T04:10:00.000-07:00

Starting is Easy Finishing is hard.

I have this saying hanging over my desk. In my kitchen redo this could be my motto. Hoping all would be completed this week I began to get ready to enjoy my new kitchen. But the counter top man didn't complete his work and now everyone has to wait on him.

Finishing becomes harder when anyone on the team fails to deliver their part on time. I hope I hold the disgusted looks on the plumber, carpenters and appliance workers as we discovered the promised counter tops were not ready. Why do I want to hold onto those looks? If possible I never want to be the one who holds up the rest of team from completing tasks on time.

Finishing is hard, but it will come sooner and easier if we all work to best performance, on time.

Tiny Things Matter to Greatness

2009-09-10T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm tiling a bathroom floor and cutting tiny pieces to finish the design is critical to the overall look and use of the floor. As I tediously measure and cut I remind myself that sometimes I see myself as a tiny insignificant part of society, church and life. In American culture age is not an asset. I never want to be anything but American but I do look at Oriental cultures are turn a bit green. My white hair and wrinkles speak to the Orientals as wise and experienced. If I pay attention to the media I'd feel utterly over the hill.

But I as I carefully cut these last pieces I will treasure those times that I may only have a little to give in tithe in the offering plate. Perhaps my strength is limited in some offerings for jobs coming up in ministry. I don't exude youth and vitality in my appearance. But I matter as does every single person.

The tiling of this floor is getting to be more fun now that I identify with the tiny finishing pieces!!!

I have so much sweat and time in this bathroom I'm threatening to make it a toll only use bathroom!!!

Do You Know What You Want?

2009-09-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

"She's easy to get along with," one of the electricians said to his buddy when I answered a question this morning in the kitchen redo.

"Oh, yeah because she knows what she wants. She's got a plan in writing that she is working from and she has already explored the possibilities before we arrived. Oh, if all our clients would do this for us and themselves," he declared.

He's right, on this kitchen, I've done my homework. I have a written sketched plan and when asked a question I'm quick to tell you what I want. But in other areas of my life I need to:

Do my homework
Explore with God my possibilities
As the Bible exhorts me: Write the vision and make it plain...Habakkuk 2:2
Destiny, ministry, life work and life investment....I need to know who I am, what I want and what I hear God wants

Good friend, do you know what you want?

Have you done your homework and put your vision in writing?

Can You Dance?

2009-09-03T04:08:00.000-07:00

In the middle of my total kitchen renovation I'm finding I can still "dance." 'Every day the carpenters, plumbers, electricians, and others throw me a new surprise. This old house built in the sixties has a surprise at many turns.

Thank God, I can still "dance" and I'm not undone when the plan doesn't work. A few times I've tripped over my own feet, but I remove myself and take a breath and lift a prayer. I come back to the chaos and together the pros and I work out a new plan.

It hit me this morning that I need to hold onto this "dance" beyond my kitchen redo. Life in USA in 2009 is most unpredictable. I need to dance when the flu spreads and DHEC directs some changes in community life. FDIC is running out of money and there may be some bank "holidays" coming up to accommodate all bank closings. October 1st I start my new management job with 2010 and I need to be sure I'm wearing my "dancing shoes."

In the blog world it's not all about me. I throw the question to you: Can you dance?

Watch it! Do You Know Who You're Talking To?

2009-08-31T01:46:00.000-07:00

Do you think much about your conversations with your self?

This morning I was reading my daily devotion from Rabbi Pliskin and I was impacted by these words:

Speak To Yourself Serenely

You are the person with whom you talk to most often. To become a serene person, consistently talk to yourself serenely.

Become aware of the tone of your voice when you speak to yourself. This often is so automatic that many people never consider it an issue. But it can be a major factor in whether or not you are usually serene.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.37)

I am careful with my words to "me" and what I say out loud about me and mine. This was not always the case. But a few years ago I heard a message that changed my life. It seems our own voice may have more power over us than any other voice. Think about it. You've been hearing your voice all your life. Your brain picks up on the familiarity of your voice. When I truly want to recall a new teaching I read the material aloud to get it etched on my mind. That one exercise should direct me to only speak over me and mine what I hope will occur.

Not even in jest do I ever speak what I would not want in me and my loved ones.

What do you say?

Can I Handle Blessings?

2009-08-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

The last twelve years have been challenging. If you're new to wholehearted Christianity let me interpret that phrase for you: Life Has been Hard!!! There were times I wasn't sure I'd make it, but God showed up at every turn just in time. How bad was it Kay? Well some things are personal but let me take all the air out and list a few challenges:

Family: brain tumors, lung cancer, marriage crisis, money fears, other health challenges, witness to child molestation,

unsure of career direction, hearing God's call to write but not finding my voice to fulfill call, mother's illness and then becoming her total care-giver in my

home for several years, husband's sudden illness and death, handling the closing of busy medical office suddenly.....CHALLENGES.

In the last few weeks I have been blessed financially, answered prayers for family and friends, great new job, writing opportunities, help remodeling my home, and a sense of rest in God

I've prayed for.

But yesterday I was phoned by my cpa to setup an appointment. I sighed when he called. My greatest fears must have been realized, the IRS wanted more money than I had anticipated. But he wanted the meeting to go over some possible medical group investment that I might be eligible to receive money from since my husband had died.

I should have been elated, but I had no where to place all this. I have been in "make it" mode for so long I had no familiar coping for one favor and blessing after another. A friend phoned me immediately after this call with a need for prayer on some difficult times in her life. Then I felt guilty that she had this hardship and I was being blessed.

I happened to have "Everyone Loves Raymond" on the television. The episode playing showed Raymond winning writer of the year. He was sharing his good news with his family. By the time his dad and mom picked it apart he was deflated and they accused him of bragging. When he got back to his home his wife gave him the bad news that his new position would force him to cover the sled races in Alaska. This was a terrible assignment. Ray smiled and la

ughed. His wife was puzzled. Raymond explained, "For a few minutes I thought I could believe this award and promotion meant I was in a good successful place. This was new for me, but just maybe it was my turn. But now that you tell me this I realize I'm not the one who has things work out for me. I live in a hard place; life is always hard for me."

Sadly, I could identify with Raymond. The fear of disappointment can cancel out the joy in a time of blessing. God is having to help me learn how to receive all of His blessings at one time. I've been climbing up hill with danger all around for many years. I, like Raymond, got accustomed to walking with trouble. The Bible shows this same mindset in the Israelites after God delivered them. I refuse to act like the Israelites who couldn't embrace the unfamiliarity of the Promised Land, because they got too accustomed to desert living.

Yes, I know the "desert," but I am adaptable and I know the giants are big in this new land. But the faithful God in the desert is also faithful in the Promised Land. I don't walk in my own knowing; no, I am surrendered and belong to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank You, Lord, for the life You give me. I know You in loss,

pain, and when nothing seems to be working. Lord, I thank You when blessings come my way that can logically seem impossible.

This is the day that You have made and I rejoice in it!!! New terrain, new skills, and thanking You, Lord God, for all things:

up, down
cold, hot
peace, war
lack, plenty
solitude, crowded
full, empty
heard, ignored
validated, invisible

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24

Watch It Lady, Don't Break in Line

2009-08-25T03:51:00.001-07:00

"The end of the line is way back there ...the guy with the orange bill hat is now the end," I sternly informed a poor book laden shopper Saturday. I must have looked like Lucy in the "Peanuts" cartoon. It was as though I assigned myself position as referee of line protocol. A lady in front of me chuckled. That really fired me off.

"It goes back to being a skinny little school girl. I hated line breakers, and I still struggle with this. This is a good test of integrity. If you break in line, you stole someone else's time. You just exposed your integrity," Lucy-like Kay proclaimed.

Holy Spirit has my ear and suddenly Lucy-like Kay was deflated. Thoughts filled my mind of all my integrity showing behaviors that would make a line-breaker give me a lecture. Oh, don't worry, my human flaws are not shockingly immoral and definitely not illegal. But I'm still a work in progress.

Whee...thank God for Heavenly grace and mercy. I took off my black and white referee shirt and ditched the whistle. I didn't even look back at the 40 person deep line to be sure all was well.

My favorite one day super fundraising book sale for literacy was a wisdom packing day. Oh, the books will be great to "chew" on all year. But the hurt little girl Kay from decades ago who must have been pushed back over and over in school lines finally gave up the fight. I may just purchase a collapsing chair so I can stand or sit in line for a long time and never break a sweat. If God needs someone to oversee the integrity of line standers He'll have to enlist someone else. I humbly resign.

I'm so humbled by the "video" He showed me in my mind on Saturday that I am busy cleaning closets and tending to my to do list. I have much to do on ME; I really don't have the energy or time to police anyone else.

Could this be what He meant when He said:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

Playing Control Games in the Name of Love

2009-08-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

Control writing is limiting my control of my life: Ha! Can't you tell from reading posts here at Thrive Christian that I've battled the control traps? I cannot casually write or speak on this subject because of the joy of freedom from this bondage and understanding that the Christian community appears to struggle with getting real on this issue. As I read through the last week's posts I need a break and I never meant to preach on this blog. Yesterday's post reads "preachy."

But enough is enough. A few months from now I will return to this subject because I've heard your passion for interest in this area of relationship wisdom.

Two key words come to my mind as I wind this series down: Love and Action.

LOVE:
Months past I shared that my favorite hymn is "Jesus Loves Me." When I am full of the truth that Jesus loves me; wart's and all, my heart is full and running over with love. God only empowers me when I lay healthy boundaries in relationships with love. St. Paul wrote this truth so well in I Corinthians 13. We can use the best principles in our relationships but if we don't have love that lines up with God, we're wasting our time.

ACTION:
I'm a well practised procrastinator. At the beginning of this year I found a book titled "Taking Action." I dare now to do action even if I may mess up; rather than postponing it. Action is key to everything in my life. I'm a trained speaker: talk can be cheap. In my relationships I am working on "action" in love that syncs with what I hear in prayer.

As I close this I recall some game playing with my late mom toward the end of her life. Mother loved to eat out. No matter how busy life became for me I had lunch or dinner out with Mother in my planner and no one took priority over her. But regretfully I should have played the "Where shall we eat" game with Mother. She would try on outfits for days leading up to our outing. I'd pick her up and the game would begin:

"You choose where we eat this time, Kay. Pick out a place," she would suggest with smiles across her face.

"Mom, every time I pick a place you come up with all your indigestion reasons why my choice cannot work for you. I eat out all the time and this day is for you. I've got an iron-clad stomach and I'll enjoy any place you choose. Where do you want to eat?" I would matter-of-fact plain vanilla bottom line no affect reply.

Mom would sigh with disappointment and say, "Now, that's is not what would happen. Come on tell me where you want to eat today."

Years past I would suggest a place and sure enough she would moan and say, "Oh, honey I can't eat there because their food is so greasy. What do you think about Red Lobster?"

Those times she was giggly with joy. I was so immature I was unhappy for being reeled in again.

Later I refused the game. Now, my mom had persistence down pat. We might go back and forth for 15 minutes before she would realize I wasn't playing. Off to one of her three favorite restaurants we would go but she wasn't' as excited about it.

Today I would do that differently. Yes, this may sound the opposite of this whole week on control, being controlled, passive aggressive deception, being honest, open, transparent and laying clear boundaries....but I loved my mother. Sometimes eighty something retirees deserve a little power brokering as long as the one being played knows what they are laying down. Loving action would lead me today to pick up my mom all dolled up and this is how that conversation would flow....

"Mom, you look fantastic. Is that a new outfit?"

"Oh, this old thing. I've had it for years. Do you think it looks o.k?"

"You amaze me, Mother. You look half your age. Where do you want to eat lunch today?"

"Oh, I picked out our last spot. You pick somewhere today."

"Sullivan's Cafe downtown is a new place. I've heard it's great," I would reply.

"Oh, Marie said they didn't have anything on the menu she could eat. Their air conditioner was too cool on her head. I just don't think I'm up to trying that after her review. What do you think about fish today?" Mom would probably say.

"Oh, fish sounds good to me. Where did you have in mind?" I would eagerly ask her.

"Red Lobster with those cheese biscuits and grilled flounder sounds good to me. But I want you to pick out a place," Mom would gleefully suggest.

"I want to go to Red Lobster. Will that be o.k. with you, Mom?" I would sincerely reply.

"Yes...oh yes, Kay, darling you have come up with a perfect suggestion," Mom would declare.

Regrets...sometimes playing a game of control is a loving action. I'm learning every day; our Heavenly Father surprises me with His mercy and how I can live an abundant life as His merciful daughter.

Got a thought on loving action?

Skin Crawling Term: MY MINISTRY

2009-08-18T04:05:00.001-07:00

MY MINISTRY: is a term that causes my skin to crawl, my anger to perk and revulsion to jump in me. I can hear the wise people "nutting up" when they read this. I recall when I was all into MY MINISTRY. God used "Experiencing God" Bible study to set me straight on that term. I learned that anyone called of God is in partnership with Holy God in any ministry that they participate in. The power is God's through His anointing and the only thing you or I offer is availability and surrender.

My church life became loving and harmonious once I got this truth clear in my mind and heart. I perceive that pride and self adulation is 100% of all conflict issues in church life. I'm sure I have such a strong reaction because initially in God's call on my life I was consumed with being the best, excellent, etc. Knowing me, I had a "holy" tag on all that nasty pride; but it was pride in me nonetheless. Now I understand each of us has destiny in God and no one can change that. We can get in the way with attitudes, disobedience, etc., but no one can stop God working in me for His destiny through me.

I started this series with statements of surrender. Control cannot operate in flesh and sinful ways when I am surrendered totally to Holy God.

C. S. Lewis wrote,

"Christ says, 'Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You.

I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.

No half-measures are any good. I don't want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out.

Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires that you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked...the whole outfit.

I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will you Myself; my own will shall become yours."

A Year with C.S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works, Edited by Patricia S. Klein (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2003) 219.

Control......God wants you and me to surrender control. I remember when God brought me to the place where He challenged me to surrender myself totally to Him. I had acknowledged Him as Lord, and He had come into my life and I had given Him certain parts, but I was still in control. Then a crisis came internally in me. Thank God for mighty mentors that wouldn't give in to me fighting dying to self. Finally I came to full surrender to Christ. He holds my controls....hallelujah.

Mike Breaux of Willow Creek, "Jesus was an important part of my life, but He was like one spoke of a wheel. There were other spokes too...my ministry, my career, my marriage, my children, my love of sports. But although He was one of the important spokes, I was the hub. Then during a time when I was on a retreat by myself, He confronted me and said, 'Mike, I don't want to just be a spoke. I want to be the hub. I want to be at the center of everything you are and do. Will you turn your life over to Me in such a way that I'm the hub?'"

Is control an issue for you? Does surrender all make sense as the answer to controlling or being controlled to you?

Control Issues Count Most in Family

2009-08-18T03:13:00.000-07:00

There is no pain like the pain one family member can inflict on another family member. I keep studying controlling and being controlled because it matters in staying close and intimate with family members. Church life is family to me also. Probably aside from my mom, my deepest hurts have come through misunderstandings in church. To me this makes good sense. When I read in the New Testament what we the church are in God's eyes the closeness is God' s love and power working through us; yet in this is also our vulnerability with one another.

Two Christian writers have helped me in church life most profoundly:

Francis Frangipane in his writings on becoming unoffendable.
R.T. Kendall in Total Forgiveness

In an intimate time of personal worship God summed up all these teachings and freed me from being overly upset with anyone in church . One day I was praying for a true problem I had detected in my church.

As I would list the issues my thoughts would be interrupted with this thought, "Do you know the condition of your body?"

"Well, yes, Lord. I'm overweight, I'm not in good physical condition from lack of exercise, and I need to overhaul my eating habits. How did we move from Your best in church-life to gluttony?" I responded.

Then I went on and on about what I had discerned that didn't line up with scriptures. I felt I was an intercessor praying in line with God because I had no personal issues in the problems I was praying about. Heaven just had to be cheering such a "holy" saint like me! But then...."Kay, do you know the condition of your body?"

"Yes, Lord, I'm overweight, under exercised; what do You want me to see Lord?" I asked most puzzled.

Then this thought came to me, "If you a woman of limited skill can determine the condition of your body why do you think I'm unaware of My Body?"

Whoa.......that set me straight on church life. Church was never man's idea. Church is God's creation. The Bible is clear that Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church; which Paul wrote of as His Body. Once I had that clear in my mind through this revelation I pray more and have answered prayers that are amazing. I pray in a positive manner thanking God that He is working in ways I cannot see and with timing that is perfect. When I share this with pastors most of them break out with a bit of sweat and their breathing speeds up. The ones close to God know they are appointed and anointed by God; not a set of deacons, elders, or money backing power brokers. Nope, church is God's idea and He manages His Body with or in spite of us.

I honor the theocracy of church in God's theocratic kingdom. No where in the Bible is democracy and voting a part of God's manner of operating His Kingdom and His Body/Church. I surrender in love to all in church. I seek God in prayer without gossip when I pick up on something out of line. I can't share the answered prayers because that wouldn't help my local church should some people read this, but trust me, God has answered prayers that line up with His love, mercy and the best interest of His Kingdom here on earth. I honor those in positions of authority and I look to God daily as I fulfill any work in my positions of authority in church.

I apologize for lengthy posts, but I'm so passionate about controlling and relationships. My plan is for 2 more posts on controlling. Again thank you for commenting. I have truly felt "out of control" in writing these posts. As I pray before posting I have changed my plan every day as God has led me to His working in me on control. I love it! May He bless you also.

Doubt God? Take Control Begins

2009-08-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

Controlling or being controlled is directly connected to lack of faith of God directly working in my life.

I ask myself often, "Am I trying to control this situation or this person?" I know the need to be in control is present in all folks in many different methods. For over 20 years I have worked with mentors, quiet time with the Lord to overcome my controlling and being controlled coping methods. Freedom in Christ is the only way to live!!!

Here are a few danger signs I've learned:

* Need to know all answers up front; and cannot wait patiently to how events evolve or what other people have planned in their lives.

* Lack trust in other people's competency or the power of God to care of details in life.

* Constant questioning, badgering and second-guessing of others' decisions.

* Believing no one can have a plan as good or better than my plan.

*Feeling I have the right to tell others what they need to do.

* Easily becoming irritable, frustrated or angry when others don't do what I wanted.

Now that I know God is intimately involved in my life I don't fall into these traps. I believe the basis of the problem for most controlling people is really the lack of trust in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

The Bible shows us over and over God is trustworthy!!!

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Of course God is the One Who is in control anyway. Matthew 6:27 states,

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

A controlling person begins to relinquish control when they surrender their concerns to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 challenges people to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

What do you say about control issues being directly related to trust or the lack of trust in God?

Control: It's Not Personal, But It Feels Personal

2009-08-14T03:59:00.000-07:00

Relationships gummed up with controlling issues are complicated. As I write this series I recall all the pain I came through as God freed me from these coping means. As I've mentioned in earlier posts I was born in a home struggling with addiction issues and mental illness. The scientist would label my

upbringing as dysfunctional.

My mom handled her tough issues with passive aggressive behaviours. As I studied this for today I was hit up the side of the head with my own passive aggression. I was a bit surprised. Truth is that we all have some of these behaviors and in moderation this can be a cultural nicety. But I hope we can see the serious control factors that these behaviors hold that can prevent us from the free life Jesus Christ has secured for us.

According to MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia -

“Passive-aggressive personality disorder is a chronic condition in which a person seems to passively comply with the desires and needs of others, but actually passively resists them, in the process becoming increasingly hostile and angry."

According to Wikipedia-

It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is, often explicitly, responsible. It is a defense mechanism and more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.

Passive Aggressive controllers could say or think the following:

When I am frustrated I become silent, knowing it bothers other people.
I am prone to sulk or pout.
When I don't want to do a project I will procrastinate. I can be lazy.
I do things in my own timing and if I am too slow or if I do things in a different manner, then others are just going to have to adjust to my way.
If they don't like it, that's too bad.There are times when I am deliberately evasive so others won't bother me.
I sometimes approach work projects half-heartedly.
When someone talks to me about our problems, I'll say what they want to hear then do what I want to do.I complain about people behind their backs, but resist the opportunity to be open with them face to face.
Sometimes I become involved in hidden misbehaviors.
I may not follow through on the favors people want me to do as a way of letting them know I didn't want to do them in the first place.

Passive aggression is usually caused by a need to have control with the least amount of accountability. This form of anger is different from suppressed anger because the person is deliberately doing something knowing it will agitate the other person involved. Also, when people use this form of anger, it represents a fear based manner of handling conflicts.

Healthy relationships welcome openness, but passive-aggressives fear

that openness will be accompanied by too high of an emotional price.

(This came from http://www.drlescarter.com/angerpassive.asp

Dr. Les Carter, author, of The Anger Trap)

What Is the Behavior of a Passive-Aggressive Person?

Here are some of the obvious ways in which a person expresses anger or aggression passively.

Lateness and Forgetfulness: One of the traits of passive-aggressive behavior most difficult to tolerate is the person’s tendency to be late for appointments or other scheduled events. Being late may reflect both the person’s need to have the control in a situation and underlying feelings of inadequacy. And there is always an excuse...like, “I forgot what time it was”...when the person wants to explain away his or her actions or avoid an obligation.

Procrastination: The passive-aggressive person will commit to a project or deadline...and simply never get it done or else complete the task much too late. Other people who depend on the work being done, meanwhile, become infuriated.

Sending Mixed Messages: The person seldom communicates clearly and unambiguously, so that he or she can’t be pinned down. For example, “Maybe we can go out for dinner Friday night,” could be a plan or maybe just a suggestion or perhaps it’s just a way to keep you guessing. If you make a definite plan to go out, then the person can come back and say that he or she was just thinking out loud, and if you don’t make plans, then you are blamed for never coming through.

Pouting, Sulking and Lying: When the passive-aggressive person fails to keep promises and is confronted, a common response is to sigh, to withdraw from interacting, and to act as if they are being blamed unfairly. If they must give a response, there is often a fabrication of reality involved...and it is masterfully done. Open, constructive communication is virtually impossible when the other person is emotionally unavailable or deliberately distorting reality.

Feeling Victimized: When you finally put your foot down and expect a firm commitment, then you are the one to blame for trying to be controlling and demanding. The passive-aggressive person acts as if he or she is the helpless victim.

No one lacks value. Each of us is unique and precious.

Showing up, being present, being on time says, "I am worth your time, and you are worth mine." Jesus Christ spent His pain, His

life, His blood to prove worth and value to each of us. There can be no question that each person believing in Him is of incredible value.

Today may we all be mindful of our time and pray for God to show us how to be responsible in using our time. May we please the Lord with our time. Human control needs: hands off. Our time is in His hands!!!

From Powerless to Powerful in Christ

2009-08-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

If you feel power-less in some relationships I am believing you can come to being

powerful in Christ. I'm learning absolute surrender to Lord Jesus Christ opens up life with open hands and heart with others.

Before I surrendered all I tried to protect myself and I lived much of my

life with clenched fists. No...not to knock out folks; to guard myself, feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Seems I had a hard time saying no to requests and I would end up overwhelmed in activities for family, church, school,

community and work. I was tired and frustrated. Learning about boundaries and praying for God's best in my life was my breakthrough. My prayer today is that I can share what is working in my life. Hopefully, God will show you His

perfect way to untangle any areas of control and passivity in your life that block you from His thriving abundant life.

Yesterday I used my pastor's analogy of how a river can be a

powerful body of water if its banks are strong and keep the water contained to flow instead of seeping into the surrounding ground and make a swamp. The Bible tells me a river of living water will flow out of my belly. With eternal destiny in mind, I will use this river word picture throughout this series.

I'm discovering that boundaries:

define who I am
say what I want
mark out what I don't want
state my goals and purpose for life and safeguard them
say where I end and another person starts

My "river" has its banks. Other people can do whatever they want to in their "river" but they can't control the activity in my "river." These river banks are set and no one may redefine these parameters except me and the Lord.

Jesus Christ lived in His "river" beautifully and powerfully:

- He left the crowds that clamored for His attention to care for Himself.

- He did not allow His person or agenda to be changed or be redirected by anyone.

- He stayed Himself regardless of what anyone else wanted.

- He could not be tempted or swayed away from His purpose.

He is my example of staying true to oneself.

I study His last hours often. He chose when He would even speak to all His interrogators when He was on trial; and when He would remain silent. That is ultimate refusal to be controlled on anyone else's agenda. In that intense crisis, He maintained His "river." He never gave up His control.

I had lived in reaction to others so completely I had a difficult time figuring out how to openly set my boundaries. I sneaked whatever control I had over my life through procrastination and other passive/aggressive means. Upfront planned conscious stating of boundaries was foreign to me. I am a Southern woman........we pride ourselves in never breaking a sweat or wrinkling our clothes with anything but perfect grace. Ha! I do have a bit of that in me; and it was a stumbling block to getting free in Christ.

I recall one time many decades ago. My husband and I hit one of those tough times in marriage and an older woman was counselling me asked me, "What do you want, Kay?" I was speechless. I had a thousand ought's, should's, Bible verses, etc., but I was clueless on what I, Kay, wanted as a woman (not necessarily the wife, mother, church leader). The beginning of setting boundaries involved me searching my heart in prayer with Christ to discover;

What I want
What I don't want
What I like
How I can best use my time, how I won't use my time.

I imagine Jesus Christ living out my life and I imagine what boundaries would He insist on in this life. Once I had written all of this I had a "river" to start building the banks to hold it in place and prevent erosion that makes a river a swamp. It has changed in these years. Now, I am a widow and a writer. My boundaries of 20 years ago would not hold in this river to be powerful.

Now that I know what I want and don't want in my life (my borders) then it is easier to say "yes" to what fits and "no" to what does not so that I can pursue the Lord's plan for my life.

Boundary establishment probably brought the most change and the greatest pain of anything God has called for in my transformation as a Christian. The freedom and the peace of mind is more than worth it's cost, but I would be amiss if I didn't write that the pain was intense. Once my boundaries were in place I stopped letting others step on my toes. I was no longer pushed into doing anything that was not best for me in God's plan for my life. On top of all that; I did it (in time) guiltless! Oh hallelujah to the rid of guilt!!!

Discovery # 1: Folks didn't like not being able to tell me what to do and how to do regularly. No matter how politely I declined church volunteering opportunities that I had before done to make leaders happy; I had folks on the outs with me.

Discovery # 2: Controlling people revved up their tactics to try to push through my personal parameters. This was especially true of my mom.

Discovery # 3: I had to keep my guard up and keep my calling clear in my mind or I would hand over my controls and find myself pressured and manipulated into something I shouldn't be doing.

Obviously I'm not "done" yet. A friend at church asked me to alter some clothes for her. She assured me there was no time pressure. But she emailed yesterday that she now realizes she needs them for this weekend. Bam! I was up until very late wrestling with an aggravating sewing machine and finally I sewed the last stitch. I mean the last stitch. New rocks in my river boundary...no more sewing favors unless Holy God directs me to do it. I have a adult child in a tough place needing my undivided attention for a few days. Now, I'm tired and what would have been peaceful ministry will be ministry with fatigue. Perfect example of letting down the guard.

Good things can get in the way of best things.

Boundary establishment was my beginning of understanding how I never give my life controls to anyone but God. Developing my boundaries has given me understanding of other's boundaries. I'm convinced you can't overcome being controlled until you face where you are also controlling of others. Tomorrow I will jump into the ways I found I feared situations and I was the controller. Hold on, before this series is finished I may show you ways you subconsciously control others. In Christ you and I can truly handle all that comes to us in life. Fear has no way to drive us to surrendering our life controls or trying to control others.

Boundaries, control, and transparent honest living have to do with my faith in God, His Word and His promises to me. Lack of faith opens up the dangers of life lived out of fear. Shame and fear are the main backbones of all control coping. Shoot down shame and fear; control has no purpose.

Until tomorrow.........Live in peace!!!

Honest Moment

2009-08-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

The promised series on controllers will begin this week. I'm stalled in posting because I am struggling with writing this from my heart. Blogging has again surprised me with opening up parts of me that I didn't know existed until I began to respond to your comments.

Some of you have written to me offline with requests for more information on getting free from being a controller or being controlled by someone

else. This dialogue has touched my heart and my mind.

I sense I need to lay down some Biblical principles that lead me daily before we open up this serious discussion on living honestly in relationship without resorting to manipulation or deception.

My first giant step in this truth was in understanding Jesus words in John 5, "

Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise."

For years I pondered how divine Jesus would need to look to Father God for all His actions. But now I see in part that Jesus came fully God, fully human, to model life for us. As He lived He and Father God were one and did all things from Heaven's perspective and in Heavenly power with Holy Spirit working in and with them.

Why was this so key in my understanding of free living without manipulation? I don't look to my own resources in living now that I am in Christ. I live every minute looking to Jesus who is looking to Father God; on what needs to be done this moment. When I am clear on this focus I am not prey to giving into people pleasing; acting like savior wonder woman Kay; needing to prove my greatness; competitiveness of wanting to be best; fear of what others might do to me....on and on and on.

I am moved by Heaven's unction!!! My trust is in God. Only in understanding this one verse was I free to dare to live with openness, and manage living with all people; even those who operate out of fear, shame and bullying.

Recently our pastor has been preaching on strong healthy relationships. He has spent much time on teaching us how to establish boundaries in our living. He said, "A river is a healthy flowing

life giving body of water because it has banks that keep it contained. If the banks erode as in Hurricane Katrina; a river becomes a stagnate swamp without life giving strength."

Tomorrow I will post the first portion of the trap of trying to control and manipulate others in our lives. I'm pouring my heart out and I am being blessed by your response. Here on Thrive Christian Blog your input is key to God moving us to truth to His Thriving Life in Jesus Christ. Please speak up on this touchy subject....I need to learn from you.

Whose Holding Your Life Switches?

2009-08-10T03:04:00.000-07:00

"You're making me miserable. I won't allow you to take control of this club. You can't control me," snarled a leader of a writing group to me.

"Take control? I have no desire to control this club, you or anyone else. But I will not be controlled by anyone but the Lord Himself. If you handed me your control panel; take it back because I don't want it. I never requested it. But I still stand by the boundaries I laid down for me. If that is a problem I will discuss this with you later," was my calm response to this perfectionist overwhelming leader.

She went ballistic. I was smiling a strange smile that only God and I understood. My fellow writers jumped in to try to calm the strong leader who was accustomed to people coming to attention when she barked loudly enough. She was ranting about this and that, and I truly was unaffected except to be concerned for her goodwill. Finally a new writer just swept me up in her arms and physically loved on me.

My smile...

My calm...

My surprise in my own words....

were part of God's tutoring me on how to manage life. For all of my life I had danced to the rhythm of anyone around me that exercised the most control or need. My mom had many emotional problems and I sense I was encouraged by aunts and family to keep her "calm" and happy. Now, I see well meaning folks gave a little child the responsibility to keep her mother sane. Wow! That's a biggee.

Bit by bit I developed mechanisms to please folks; no matter what. In that mindset I lost me; and what truly mattered to me. The poor writer's club leader just happened to be the first "controller" to encounter Free Kay! I had come through work with a Christian mentor and weeks of time in Bible study on being a strong healthy balanced Christian woman. I'm sure I needed some fine tuning in delivery, but I didn't buckle under and I didn't resort to her tyrannical manner.

I'm sure I didn't handle responsibility in full balance up until this point. My mom had displayed a manipulative passive/aggressive manner throughout my life. Now, I was laying down boundaries in my life. I had prayed on my purpose, destiny and the priorities in my life that pleased God. That week I had laid some big ones down with my mom. She came totally unglued, but then in the end she got it. That began some of the best interaction we had had together. So, this encounter with the group leader was days after I had been clear with my mom.

The vivid image of taking my writing club leader's control panel was repulsive to me. The weeks of seeking God's best in my life as a mature woman had been painful. Daring to confront my mom on being upfront and straight forward in our interactions had been painful for her. The leader had no idea what was going on with Kay. She was accustomed to the "yes" girl. Whatever anyone wanted Kay would try to do. But now Kay was laying down some boundaries. The leader's need for ultimate control was challenged and she reacted with loud forceful orders.

She was right on the point that I was no longer in her control. From that standpoint I was controlling her agenda. She had been accustomed to counting on 100% unconditional submission from me. Now, I was laying out times, assignments, etc. that worked for me with the other responsibilities in my life.

If controllers are hurting your life be prepared for new pain if you come into God's plan for living free. If you have lived as a people pleaser more than a God pleaser; there is hard work ahead. But ....hear me; the payback is amazing. No one holds my life control panel but God and me!!! Don't you want to live free?

Tomorrow we will explore how anyone ever falls into the trap of becoming a controller. Remember our goal is to get free; utterly free. When you are free in Christ you can truly love and pray for the controllers.

Do you have a story of being controlled, controlling or being free from either case.

We were designed to worship something, and when we fail to worship God, we create gods (idols) to surrender ourselves to. E. Stanley Jones said, “If you don’t surrender to Christ, you surrender to chaos.” You’re free to choose what you surrender to, but you’re not free from the consequences of that choice: “So give yourselves completely to God” (James 4:7 NCV).

Having a Rough Time With Controllers?

2009-08-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Blogging thrills me when comments flood in on certain posts. I get it...ya'll are having some difficult time with controlling people in your life. I'm working on a series to begin Monday on ways I have learned to work effectively with "controllers" and how God has melted my heart on this one serious relationship issue.

Stay tuned....I offer my life tested wisdom. Keep reading the last post and know I love it when you fire back all fired up!!!

Psst....here is a visual hint for more to come in next week's series.

How Do You Love Controllers?

2009-08-07T04:05:00.000-07:00

"Oh, no, Lord, even You don't expect me to love someone who tries to control people around them constantly. Oh, no....I can't. Ummm, You don't have a backup plan, eh? Well, Lord, I need some serious help as soon as possible," was my prayer conversation in my mind many years ago. Today I find myself counselling many who struggle with this issue.

The way the Lord helped me was to realize in myself that I can try to control my environment and people's dealings with me when I am fearful and/or shamed. The experts in behavior science agree with this truth. That one little nugget helped me love the most dogmatic or manipulative passive/aggressive controllers.

Where I can't find anything to love in a controller or manipulator; I have no strain feeling empathy for someone afraid or ashamed. I choose to look beyond the offensive front of a controller to see into their pain of fear or shame. Recently I spent time with a young woman who is having difficulty working with a passive aggressive complaining controlling older woman. The controller has come through abuse emotionally and physcially from an abusive spouse.

I'm convinced the emotional and physical abused women have scars that can have lasting fear of someone else hurting them. This painful unfair treatment is doubling damaging because it comes from the man they loved and chose for a lifetime partner. "When you look past her actions...when you listen past her words and attitudes....perhaps you can feel her pain, " I shared with this young woman.

As we left one another we came up with a plan that will give the controller many ways to "control" unimportant decisions while this young woman prays for their relationship. Hopefully God will bless them with trust and the controlling manner won't be needed for the hurting woman to work with this younger woman.

Do you have ways that help you work with the "controllers" in your life? When do you find yourself trying to control others around you?

Heroes Are Real People

2009-08-04T02:45:00.000-07:00

I laughed and cried listening to Micca Campbell speak last year at She Speaks conference. Just beginning life as a widow she gave me hope for life I needed right then. Her humor gift and her communication skills were so excellent I felt like we two were the only ones in a room actually filled with hundreds of women. Yep, right that minute she became my heroine to emulate as I began this new walk as widow Kay.

A few days ago at this year's conference she was talking with one of my new friends. The friend, Carol Davis, pulled me over to introduce me to Micca. Carol is amazing (check her out on her daily radio show: http://www.wmit.org/programming/matt_in_the_morning.html.)

I tried to be cool and calm, but I couldn't. In typical Southern country unsophisticated style I began to ooh and ah. I told Micca I wrote up her story from the last conference on my blog. She looked a bit worried.......now that started me worrying. I had terrifying thoughts whirling through my head. Which lawyer should I call ... who won't mind me phoning them on Saturday? Oh, no ...I've messed up this time. I'm new at blogging and I began to think, "Oh, no my heroine is going to sue me for some lawyer-4-syllable-breach of something."

But...........drum roll, there is a happy ending to this saga. I sent Carol a link to the post I wrote on Micca. Just as I had assumed, Carol forwarded it to Micca. I felt like I needed to open up and let whatever was going to happen to get on with it. Here is that post and if you look at the comments my heroine, Micca, left a beautiful edifying comment. Whew! I'm thrilled she approved, but I'm relieved she didn't want to do something else.....ain't life wild in litiginous USA in 2009?

Here's a Micca!!!

Never Let 'Em See You Sweat!

My Aunt Eunice frequently told me my best self defense strategy was to keep my cool, no matter what. I think Aunt Eunice had read far too many mystery stories because she constantly had self defense on her mind in a quiet valley with only family within several miles in either direction.

But I did end up in some dangerous spots and no matter what, I could almost hear Aunt Eunice, "Girl, walk like you don't have a care in the world. Don't let them see your fear; keep your cool. Don't let them see you sweat." I'm navigationaly challenged and getting lost comes up often. Once I was having a ball in the Garment District of New York when I took a wrong turn into an alley that was terrifying and somehow I was no longer in the Garment District. But, I walked like I knew exactly where I was going and finally I circled back into the street I knew.

Today I'm paying tribute to Micca Campbell who is the queen of "Don't Let Them See You Sweat." She was a keynote speaker in the She Speaks Conference (http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/) this past May. Enjoy her story and see if you agree that she is the "queen" since she kept coming back around these folks after this incident. Micca Campbell, was the conference's last keynote speaker. This beautiful young woman had me laughing minutes after taking the mike. Since I hope to develop humor here and in my presentations I listened intently to Micca's stories. As nutty as some of my most embarrassing moments have been, she’s topped me with this one:

Micca rushed to get to the hotel for the She Speaks conference several years ago. With no time to freshen up for a leadership preliminary meeting she threw her clothes on. When she entered the ground floor elevator alone she realized she had this tiny bit of time to straighten her clothes properly.

With the wood paneling surrounding her she faced the door, flung off her shoes, bent over, and threw her skirt up on her back. Now, she had time to get her twisted pantyhose on straight. She started working her stretchy clingy panty hose on properly from her toes up to her waist. She made sure everything was just right.

She sighed with some relief....Whew....oh no! Suddenly Micca realized the surrounding walls of the elevator were now glass. Those solid wooden walls she noticed on entering the elevator were permanent fixtures to the ground floor only. Once the elevator rose to the second floor the true glass walls were her only surrounding. She peered behind her to look into shocked diners' faces in the main dinning room below her. All those high paying diners got their meal and a show!!! Talk about a floor show.

Micca's re-enactment of her bending over and wrestling with her pantyhose cannot be described....it must be experienced. For several years Micca has returned to speak at She Speaks in the same hotel. Aunt Eunice would have applauded her checking into the hotel and the staff elbowing one another, "That's the elevator lady." She just walked right by and never gave into the temptation to try to explain any of the matter. Finally She Speaks changed meeting sites and Micca said checking in was so pleasant this year.

She may have become a legend: that elevator lady; but she knew how to handle it as a true Southern belle: Never let them see you sweat!

Micca is a treasure in the Kingdom of God that I am truly thanking God for today. Her website is http://www.miccacampbell.com/. Thank you, Micca, for your heart, your soul and your gift… and the laughs. You were the laughter Rx I needed.

Comments:

Pinkshoelady said...

Hi Kay,
I was there when she told that story. I laughed until my side hurt.
Are you going to She Speaks again?
If you are I'd like to meet you in person.

Thanks for all your encouragement and helpful advice.

I will be speaking on some of that advice in a post coming soon...hopefully this weekend.

Love to you
Pamela

October 17, 2008 4:29 AM

Micca said...

Dear Kay, It was a treat meeting you at She Speaks. I had to look you up. Before I could, Carol Davis sent me this link! I read your story about me and laughed out loud!

I hope you enjoyed She Speaks and will return again next year. You exude joy!

blessings,
Micca

August 3, 2009 1:03 PM

2009-08-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I'd heard it all my breath was taken away at dinner at She Speaks Conference. A beautiful woman seated near me was sharing how God had been her husband when her life fell apart. I've heard so many stories I was listening 2 chairs over, but I was so startled by her words, I was sitting straight up and hanging on every word.

This lovely woman in her mid thirties shared how several years ago she and her husband had completed foreign missionary seminary training, etc. They both felt called of God to serve in this remote foreign village in China. All was going well whento her shock her husband suddenly lost his faith and fell off the track. He renounced the Lord and forsake her and all he'd ever known.

I felt such a tug on my heart I was undone. The main thing she shared was the goodness and the nearness of God to her as she gathered up her belongings and made her way out of the mission field to return home without husband and no understanding of what to do next. Over and over she smiled that wondrous smile that only a saint can smile that knows close up and personal Jesus Christ Holy Spirit being her all when her world implodes.

She divorced her husband and he's still in China. She has married a wonderful loving Christian man, but she believes God will draw her ex husband out of this unholy lifestyle someday. He lives in China forsaking his family and faith. She was not resentful, bitter or wishing harm on him.

I'm being blessed wonderfully in this conference. But somehow I just don't see how anything to come will impress me as much as my time with this amazing God filled woman. When I see the glory of God manifest in a soul such as this one I am forever changed.

Thank God I am here at this Christian women's conference. Perhaps I'll return home a better speaker and writer. That would be nice, but oh, I return home a better believer. I have been blessed to hear a testimony that has enlarged my faith. God will never ...never....never forsake me. As He met this wife's needs; He will meet mine...no matter what!!!

Out of Work in 2009

2009-07-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I encountered three young men who had much in common. They were under 40, bright, considerate, intelligent, educated, attractive and each of them would be positive members of any company or staff. BUT....big but....they were looking for meaningful job placement. In 2009 I am seeing the most unlikely people pushed out of jobs and careers.

I don't have any great insight concerning this situation in our topsy turvy

economy. But I do have personal experience of having my world erupt with no meaning. I can still recall that first night when life kicked me in the stomach and knocked the breath out of me. So, as an old woman concerned with these young men and others in that strange place when life falls off its tracks I offer what got me through that dark time.

1. If you don't know God personally, cry out to Him. If Bible reading is not your daily diet, begin by reading the Psalms out loud. Dare to read the book of John and Romans. Challenge God in your prayers to show you Who He is to you.

2. Once you know who you are in Christ everything takes on a totally new perspective. Even your crisis pales compared to life in Him.

3. Open up to God to show you what He will do in your present circumstance. I daily ask Him, "What will please You today, Lord? That is my supreme desire; to please You." That could sound as though I am a sacrificing martyr. No, I have discovered my most fulfilling, thriving, and fun filled life comes about when I get into that place of hearing God and obeying Him to the point that He is pleased.

4. Find joy and laughter wherever it shows up. Laugh out loud every moment that you can. The rx that healed so many of my ails lies in that one truth. I even rent movies that make me laugh when times get dark. I

have a specific group of

dvd's and books that can bring me to chuckles.

5. If you are out of work and have time on your hands find a way to spend yourself helping others. Time spent focusing on yourself will make you sick. God has an amazing way of networking His people when they are pouring out in service to others.

6. Trust me on this one....this crisis will pass. Nothing lasts forever. This won't either. I don't know what America and the world will look like when all the dust settles from this economic shift, but God is changeless. I know we who look to Him will have what really matters: peace, acceptance, hope, faith and most of all love.

7. Love is the most important part of living. The longer I live I know this to be true. I pray daily to receive the Lord's love....only out of His love filling me

will I have love to pour onto others. Paul spoke ultimate truth in I Corinthians 13....without love everything we say and do is like a clanging cymbal....redundant chatter and noise.

2009 has many out of work who did all the right things in their youth to prepare to never be laid off. It's not fair. You're right. The Bible doesn't promise us life will be fair. The Bible promises us abundant life and victory in what matters; now and eternally. There is no one who can fill your vacuum when life kicks the air out of you....But God. Seek Him. He never, never, never denie

s anyone who sincerely calls out to Him.

2009 is challenging, but for some hard heads like me (I didn't come gently to the Lord, I only came when nothing else would work) 2009 may be the year that is personally the most wonderful year of your life. 2009 may break down every

scaffolding that's been holding you up on your own. Leaning on the Lord and living life wide open in Him is the greatest life ever!!!

Jesus Christ is Lord