Fun Friday Courtroom Reality

The following questions were actually posed by real-life lawyers and are taken from official court records. Have a hearty laugh!!! Remember this is fun Friday!

Now, in all fairness to the poor lawyers immortalized below as complete idiots, readers should be aware that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that the slightest inadvertence is on record for posterity.

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

3. What happened then? He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. Can you describe the individual?He was about medium height and had a beard.Was this a male or female?

8. How long have you been a French Canadian?

9. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?

10. Mr. Clark, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? I went to Europe, sir. And did you take your new wife?

11. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

12. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

13. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? By death.And by whose death was it terminated?

14. Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?I used to be. How many times have you committed suicide?

15. So you were gone until you returned?

16. She had three children, right? Yes.How many were boys?None.Were there girls?

17. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?


*Thanks to the American 'Lectric Law Library, from whom some of the following are reproduced. He also wishes to thank lawyer Alan D. Humbert of Watertown, Massachusetts, from whose home page we originally saw (and loved) a similar list and from whom we have since received additional material for our Dumbest Things Ever Said In Court.