Misunderstood Again

The good life for Christians can be determined by the health of their personal relationship with God. When I am living in Christ and see all of life through Him, I have peace and joy. The mysteries of life that I cannot understand drive me to trust and believe that God will be my strength when I'm at my end.

My peace and joy were interrupted this week. Offense, betrayal, and hurt filled my emotions to disturb my relationship with God. During a leadership planning session several of us leaders had to choose key people for a project. In discussion we did not have consensus on one person to fill a slot. To clarify the reasons for not choosing her I gave instances of inconsistency in her performances in the past. One person was a personal friend of hers and kept insisting on her as a choice. The committee agreed to choose another candidate instead. I assumed everyone realized any comments were spoken in confidence.

Shortly after the meeting word comes back to me that a committee member (friend of rejected candidate) shared (with embellishment) my words against this person's performances. What do you do when people betray your confidence? I dont' know about you, but I am still sensitive enough to hurt badly.

The Bible gives us evidence that this will occur over and over. My own experience has confirmed that these scenarios will play more often than I want to admit. But, oh, how I hurt.

What to do with this pain? First I have to examine the playback with honesty to see where I erred. Oh, yeah...me. Did I exaggerate negative factors in this particular person? Did I clarify that comments in this meeting were not to be shared with anyone else? What could have been a better way to show this person unqualified without the words coming at them second-hand that have generated so much pain? How do I work in leadership meetings seeking excellence and getting the best candidates for ministry without causing unnecessary hurt to those not selected?

Of course I took this to Father God in prayer. For an entire day I ached with this hurt. When I could not seem to get my peace of mind back I prayed again. The thoughts that came to me were: "Why did I pick the problem up after prayer? Why didn't I determine to think on other things and trust the whole thing to God?

These are some of the senseless thoughts that I would recycle over and over in my mind:

Why would this person want to tell someone something so hurtful?

What possible good did he see coming out of stirring up these hurt feelings?

Does he want to hurt me? Why? What possible good does he see by showing me in this light and at the same time hurting this person with these negative observations?

Oh, the list could fill pages. God has grown me up enough that I don't crawl up in the fetal position for weeks on these hurts and misunderstandings. But I desire to be so close to God that when someone praises me I don't get that excited and when I'm doing my best and they don't like me or what I'm doing I trust God to handle it. No, I'm still getting in a stew. I want to be so In Christ that I can stay in peace and love with all men at all times.

I'm getting better at shortening the time of these hand wringing sessions. The Scriptures show me I am to live with peace and joy. When misunderstandings occur I have clear instruction:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Do not be wise in your own opinion.

Repay no evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

This wisdom is from the book of Romans in the 12th chapter, verses 14,16, 18.

Hurt, misunderstanding, and trouble are promised to all. The question is my trust in God; while I deal honestly with whatever is my responsibility. I am called to trust Him ....no matter what.

I am called to let go of my hurts and feelings of being betrayed. How can I do that? Oh, when I think of all He bore in betrayal, hurt, misunderstanding and pain ....oh, yes Lord, I surrender all. I trust You and I pray Your mercy and love on all of us. I pray for Your goodness to anyone I perceive as not caring for my interests. I pray that You bring them and me closer to You. In You is all that is good, honorable and worthy of my attention and time and heart.

Mystery ....not understanding everything, but trusting in the Strong Gentleness and Love of Almighty God is magnificient. Thrive and live based on His goodness.