Friday, December 19, 2008

Fun Friday:I Don't Like Fruitcake

I Hate Fruitcake!!! There, I said it and I mean it. For all these 64 years I have politely eaten fruitcake and rarely liked any of it. Who puts bitter tasting bits in a cake? Excuse me while I vent; but this has been suppressed for years.

Here are the Top Ten Uses for Fruitcakes so I never have to eat them again!!!

10. Use aged, hardened slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use as replacement for sand bags prior to floods.
8. Bombs for the military: Capable of harm when dropped from military planes onto the enemy
7. Railroad companies can now have an everlasting short railroad tie.
6. Use as speed bumps to slow down the drive through speeders.
5. Bowling alleys can now offer cake pins.
4. Foundation sinking? These hardened cakes could be your solution.
3. A great filler for next summer's garage sale.
2. For variety fruitcake slices are great in the next skeet-shooting competition.
1. Fundraiser for charities: Have a fruitcake toss and prize goes to the winner!!! No eating of scattered crumbs allowed.

6 comments:

sailorcross said...

Fruitcake toss? Cake pins?

I happen to be one of the few people that actually LIKE fruitcake--but only my aunt's recipe. It is nice and moist and not bitter. I've had some of those dry, hard ones before!!

Cake pins--maybe I'd do better at bowling if I was aiming at food instead of some white pins standing there staring at me!! My high score is 11!!

There--the whole world knows now--I just can't bowl without bumpers!!

Beth

Dorothy Champagne said...

I'm right there with you - I'll waste my calories on something a lot more worthy - perhaps some hot cocoa and peanut butter cookies!

Red Letter Believers said...

Pretty funny stuff...I think fruitcakes are a hold over from the days when we canned meat and preserved everything for the long winter.

Good riddance fruitcake!

Patrick said...

Kay,

I can think of some other uses;

1.) Nuclear power plants can use it to contain spent uranium
2.) construction sites can use it to contain silt run off
3.) It could be a new innovative matress filler
4.) it could be used as fake rock on movie sets.
5.) I can put it under my laptop computer to dissipate heat.
6.) Shoe inserts
7.) dump them in the ocean to create frameworks for new coral reefs
8.) An emergency compress to stop severe bleeding.
9.) House insulation (I don't think we have to worry about rats eating it)
10.) Use it to fix flat tire.


If you like crazy food stuff you might be interested in visiting the gallery of regrettable food.

http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/

ThreeGirlyGirls said...

That is great!! So funny!! I love it!!

Chatty Kelly said...

I think if the military dropped them on people, they would certainly be injured. LOL! Cute cute cute. I don't like fruit cake either.

© 2008 Kay Martin

Thrive In Christ

Who I Am In Christ by Neil Anderson

For several months we will center on this book to pursue Thriving in our Christian journey.

Neil challenges us with: "Do you know who you are in God's eyes? We are no longer products of our past. We are primarily products of Christ's work on the cross. Who we are determines what we do.

You are not who you are in Christ because of the things you have done, you are in Christ because of what He has done. He died and rose again so that you and I could live in the FREEDOM of His love."

That's just the introduction. More to follow.