Monday, July 28, 2008

The Great Pretender



Hear the music? The "Great Pretender" by the Platters is playing on the radio. I could claim this as my theme song when I overuse my gift of optimism and hope.

Notice these selected lyrics:

Oh, yes I'm the great pretender
Pretending I'm doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel like what my heart can't conceal
Ooh Ooh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I'm not

This week I have a long list of "have to's" that I don't like doing. I'm smiling and saying "all is well," but there is a part of me growling, "Oh, yeah? How so?"

I am digging into Bible study focusing on living "in Christ." I desire to know more intensely who I am "in Christ," and I am finding new understanding through Neil Anderson's book, Who I Am In Christ. The introduction lines up with today's mind battle,” You may actually struggle in your thought life with opposing arguments about what God has to say about who you are."

My quandary today is I honestly know life is more than my little 'wants'
and 'needs.' Rick Warren was correct, "It's not about me." But I don't feel like that today.

Miss Optimism is taking her smiley face mask off. This tough to do list looks like it is all about me.

I know that being gracious and pleasant is important. Yet I am committed to being transparent and real.

Yes, God I know You are here and on my side. As I praise You I embrace that "we" will get this work done; dare to make these new contacts, and finalize these tough assignments.

The battle rages in my mind..."Are You really in this with me?" The mind game of "is He/or isn't He battling with me" doesn't last long these days. I recall struggling night and day with this interior conversation in my younger years.No, today, I know God is here. I also know my shrinking from the tough stuff just magnifies the pain.

But today I felt I needed to share with you readers that I still struggle. My mentor is fifteen years my senior, and she often tells me the temptations will always pop up. God is not surprised, nor should I feel guilty for the temptation. He created me with human vulnerabilities.

He's here and the battle between my spirit and my flesh is real. To praise God and to glorify Him brings me to "myself." When I praise Him and sense His presence everything changes. God is most glorified in me when I know He is enough. I am most blessed when I know He and His Kingdom are more important than anything else.

Let's get real and lay down our masks. Some things can bring us to hurt or become frustrated or angry. Jesus Christ died and rose again to forgive the treason of our souls, which have turned from seeking God to looking out for ourselves.

We actually do begin to think it is about us....the universe begins with us in the center...right? In the cross of Christ, God rescues us from this self consuming knot.

Prayer: "Lord, the mask is off. The day still looms as a tough one to challenge me to the edge of my abilities. I trust You are with me, and "we" will conclude this day in full victory. I lift You above all else, especially my wants and my concerns. You are worthy and I am awed by Your power, love, mercy and goodness. Bless every reader with life. Refresh their thirst with living water. In Jesus name. Amen."

You are Accepted
"Accept one another then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praises to God." Romans 15:7

5 comments:

Technonana said...

Remember the story of the silversmith as he refines the silver he keeps it close to his face as he puts it in the fire for refining... when asked why, his answer is so that I can see when it is done.. "So how do you know this?" His answer... "When I can see my face in it."
We are not perfect but God uses these times of trials and pains to refine us...

lizzykristine said...

I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for the words of encouragement you left on my blog this weekend! :)

~lizzykristine

Tracy said...

I'm challenged and humbled by your vulnerability, Kay. You're so right, nothing surprises our God and He didn't create us as perfect beings, so why feel bad about our human vulnerabilities? You've given me some things to ponder here...
Thanks again,
Tracy

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

That was very encouraging to hear. I love gleaning from your wisdom! I used to play the pretender game and well it made me just plain tired so I put down the mask and started getting real. Guess what, it gave me so much new freedom and really ministers to the others God places in my path.
Love ya!
Ang

ThreeGirlyGirls said...

Oh Kay, what a great post. I'm all about taking off the mask and just being who we are!! Love your sweet heart.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers for my little Hope. That's amazing what the Lord brought you through with your daughter! What a testimony!!

© 2008 Kay Martin

Thrive In Christ

Who I Am In Christ by Neil Anderson

For several months we will center on this book to pursue Thriving in our Christian journey.

Neil challenges us with: "Do you know who you are in God's eyes? We are no longer products of our past. We are primarily products of Christ's work on the cross. Who we are determines what we do.

You are not who you are in Christ because of the things you have done, you are in Christ because of what He has done. He died and rose again so that you and I could live in the FREEDOM of His love."

That's just the introduction. More to follow.