Fun Friday: Preacher's Donkey

The Preacher's Donkey
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher).

The only way to make the donkey go was to say, "Hallelujah!"

The only way to make the donkey stop was to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions.

"Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah" he rode off, very proud of his new purchase.

The man traveled for a long time through the mountains. As he headed towards a cliff, he tried to remember the word to make the donkey stop.

"Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "OH, NO . . ." "Bible...Church!...Please! Stop!!" shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer: "Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain. In Jesus' name, AMEN."

The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.

"HALLELUJAH!" shouted the man.

Loneliness #IV: Relationship - God's Way

"Folks Will Hit My Last Nerve and Sometimes It's Just Easier to Avoid The Pain and Get On With Life By Myself!!! Jesus and I can work these issues out. When life smooths out I'll get back to the church folks and plug into missions etc. Right now I'm not up to putting up with people aggravating me." That isn't my quote today, but in some tough life battles I had some of those thoughts. Fear of conflict and being overwhelmed may be part of the bondage and trap of the lonely (outside and inside the church.)

How did we get here to lonely statistics baffling the theologians, the medical community, the social workers, and the anthropologists?

I shared some of the tough stuff from my childhood, but I have some wonderful saints in my lineage. My maternal grandmother was an amazing North Georgian hilly rocky working farm saint. She had 13 children and she lived through losing one of her two sons when he was two years old. She made her own soap; cooked on a wood stove; put up all the food her family ate all year. She designed and made beautiful dresses and clothes for her 11 daughters who were all shapes and fashion challenges. The pictures of these girls looks like Chanel designed everything they wore.

That was Mamie's day life. She had a gift of helping the sick get well and she was a self taught midwife. Many of her nights were up with sick whooping cough babies or delivering babies for black and whites in those hills. They were too far out for the doctors to come in emergencies. I don't believe Mamie had any lonely issues. Now she'd known great hardship...wars, depression, droughts, two houses burned to the ground by lightning. Those are the big ones along with my blessed Grandaddy losing his hearing from lightning in one of those storms.

When the blues, lonely tugs come to me I claim out loud that I am my grandmother's grandchild. There may have been some "issues" in my parents, and they had great qualities. I am believing Christ in me and the lineage God blessed me with is more than enough for circumstances to overwhelm me. Who is that teacher, relative, friend that has modeled for you how to pick yourself up and connect?

You who are lonely: make baby steps and move toward others. Just like Sailor Cross wrote in and admitted she sometimes feels lonely even at church. She's a knitter. She had an aha moment and plans to start a knitting group to make some connections. Why not you initiate something that will connect you with others who may have similar interests? Why not?

You who don't have any lonely issues.......get at it. Pray for God to show you who needs a smile, an invitation to a meal, a phone call, a note. I promise He will show you someone who's hoping that someone will validate they exist and they have value.

What if?

Loneliness Part III: Together We're Awesome

Are You Lonely? Do you know someone who is lonely? There is help and whatever it takes to overcome the loneliness; it's worth it. We are created to be in fellowship with one another. That's the blueprint and any deviation from the main plan will not be best.

Yesterday we explored "What if?" you started something that would draw people together for fellowship. Today I challenge you with:

1. Do you know other believers well enough to know when they are hurting or lonely?
2. Do you respond when God shows you that another believer is hurting or lonely?
3. Do you frequently give (of your time, money, energy) even when there is nothing for you to gain in return?]
   This is quoted from another Christian blogger concerned with loneliness in our churches, Alan Knox http://www.alanknox.net/

I love blogging dialogue. This morning I received an email with this comment posted on yesterday's blog: Hi Kay!
I'm on my way out the door to work when I came upon this series.
I'll be back later when I have more time to read and digest because I REALLY think you're talking to me!!
I get lonely sometimes, but WHAT IF I reached out to others that are lonely, too? Then, in spiritual fellowship, we could share our feelings and establish new relationships.
Knitter--that's me--you've spoken to me this morning!!
I'll be back later!!

I remember an old book by Tozer, Rut, Rot or Revival. Way back in the late eighties I found this book and I loved the title, but my pastor thought it was severe. Soon after that our church had a big conflict and he was allowed to resign and the church has never gotten back to any true strength. He never pastored again. Today I would add one more "R" word: Revolution.

God is stirring up His people. Seems our pastor is stirring up a "what if" revival/revolution within each of us and God is releasing it through us. So thank you, Sailor Cross, I needed your comment to fuel me in facing and doing all that I can for the lonely I encounter. God, thank You for this blog world.

Back to the lonely............

• Folks with physical disabilities have confessed that greater than their physical pain has been the pain of isolation and loneliness.
• Older parents share the intense pain of loneliness in rarely seeing their adult children.
• Some people from minority groups who have been excluded from social activities feel very lonely.
  
  In a nearby SC community with many international companies a primary secular mission is commissioned to help the lonely isolated spouses of the executives working here. I cannot imagine being away from my homeland and family, uneasy with the language and no one in my neighborhood ever rings my doorbell to welcome me.

It just seems logical that as followers of our Savior, we should be reaching out to the lonely all around us. Not only will we reach out to them with the time we have, but we will point them to God. Only God can meet the needs of the lonely. And here is the good news. In Jesus He has revealed Himself as "Immanuel," which means, "God with us."

Dr. Dean Ornish is concerned that loneliness may be the greatest threat to our society.

He has seen in his research that people who are lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to develop serious illness or to die prematurely. He concluded:"

I’m not aware of any factor in medicine – not diet, not

smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not

drugs, not surgery – that has greater impact on our

quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death

than the healing power of love and intimacy. Yet the

need for love and intimacy often goes

unfulfilled." (Love & Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy.)

Let me conclude today with some good news. Here are some healthy ways to replace loneliness:

• 
  Pick up the phone and call a family member, friend, or an acquaintance.
• Go to the store or an event and be friendly with people you encounter.
• Go outside and take a walk. Let nature speak to you.
• Get a pet to care for and cuddle with.
• Get involved in a hobby you enjoy.
• Talk to God about how you’re feeling and express your love to him.

Do you have any tips for the lonely? What thoughts do you have on the church addressing loneliness?

Loneliness Series II: What if You & I Reach Out to the Lonely?

Thrive Christians is exploring loneliness because Christians are built for community and fellowship. Again I say there is nothing in the New Testament that shows lone ministry or loneliness as an issue the first Church battled. As Christians our church and our Christian brothers and sisters should BE There in all situations that could throw us in loneliness.

I sound "preachy" again. Sorry, folks.....can we call it passion?

Today as I begin this second post I am asking myself why have I had such empathy for the lonely and shut out? I'll spare you the details, but I had a most dysfunctional upbringing. I had so many moves from age 4 onward I lost count. I lived in small town SC, then to Indiana, then to Miami, then to North East Georgia. Some times these moves were in the middle of the school year. When I got tired of counting it was over 9 moves in 12 years.

I was an only child and I never recall being lonely in all of that moving around. As soon as the car stopped and the boxes came out of the rental van I must have sprung into action and plugged in my extroverted personality to win friends in a hurry. I loved reading and school. Winning the admiration of my teachers was a main focus for me. I excelled wherever I landed.

Somehow I believe I knew that if I were shy or in any way withdrawn I would have been a very lonely child and teen. Adult life threw some surprises that made withdrawing seem an option, but I never gave into those urges. The lonely need a hug, a smile, an affirmation and kindness that draws them to the "table" of fellowship.

I'm a scientist at heart; so my writings always have statistics and "proofs" of my philosophy. Bear with me. One in three Americans report being lonely. All types of people experience loneliness from time to time, but certain groups are especially vulnerable to chronic, heart-aching loneliness:

• older people
• widows and widowers, divorcees, and singles are especially vulnerable to loneliness
• many teenagers (1 out of 10) admit to struggling with loneliness

Loneliness Hurts: Our greatest need as people is to be in loving relationships. When we have prolonged loneliness we can develop other problems.

• Depression. People who are lonely are usually depressed. Their relational and social needs aren't being met. They miss having a partner to share life with and feel disconnected and bored. Even if you’re busy, competent, successful, or wealthy life lacks meaning if you’re not connected to people.
• Low Self-esteem. Commonly, those who are lonely don’t feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is not something we can manufacture ourselves or even maintain by ourselves. We all need to be esteemed and affirmed consistently by others for who we are inside, how we express ourselves, and what we have to offer. If you’re isolated from others then you’re unknown and unappreciated.
• Fear and Anxiety. We need each other in so many ways. One reason we need others is to talk through our feelings. Every day we all experience many things including some negative, painful things. We need to share these feelings and receive support. If we don’t regularly share our hearts with others then we’ll become anxious, worried, and agitated. And we may become fearful and increasingly mistrusting of others.
• Misperception and Projection. When we’re not receiving support from caring people our souls become a breeding ground for negativity. Lacking in feedback from others we’re prone to make all sorts of wrong and negative assumptions about other people and how they feel about us. And we may project our own issues onto them seeing judgment or rejection when it’s not out there, it’s actually coming from inside!
• Physical Problems. Dean Ornish, MD reported on research that showed that people who are lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to develop serious illness or to die prematurely.

I have a long list of Scriptures I've found that show how we are to love and care for one another because we are united in Christ, but I'm not going to post those now. I am hoping to reach out to anyone reading this that is lonely and to anyone who knows someone that is lonely. From my reading that should cover everyone reading this.

It's not supposed to be like this. Jesus Christ, who is love; who paid the greatest price for each of us to have abundant life; never meant for loneliness to be an epidemic in His Body: the Church.

My pastor is on a search for us to discover "What if?" each of us do what we can to address the pain and misery we see. I'm zoning in on loneliness. I'm praying that a preacher drops by this blog and is shaken up by the thought of one member crying themselves to sleep in pangs of loneliness. What if I give all that is within me for empathy and compassion to the lonely who are dying way before their time? What if I get a knitter to start a knitting circle, not for the charity hats and quilts you make; but for the relationships that are knitted together through Holy Spirit working through your group? What if a mechanic gets some men at the church together to check out the divorcees'-single parent moms' cars? the widows cars? Yeah, you'll be serving the Lord getting the maintenance done on the cars, but a lonely guy may get connected to a godly man that he's been needing for a long time.

Your turn: What if.......? What can blast loneliness out of your church and unite brothers and sisters in Christ in one mind and heart?

What if?

Loneliness Series I: God's Blueprint is Community

Times could get tougher; we will need one another. We are a called community of believers. Community....come into unity!!!

Christians have a blueprint: Acts 2: 4246 "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. verse 44 "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people." Acts 4:32 " All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had."

This week I'm staying on this lonely theme. When I am confident of who I am in Christ, and I meditate and I worship Him I can relate to everyone in a wholesome edifying way. This beautiful model laid out for us in Acts is the end hope in every church and in every believer.

Through a series of probing queries I hope we find ways out of our loneliness, when it surfaces. I believe we will find ways to join God in bringing others out of their loneliness traps.

In the blog world I found this great truth:
http://paulsponderings.blogspot.com/ writes....

Loneliness is not a symptom of having no love in our lives. Most people have friends and family who love them. Loneliness then is a symptom of a hole in our heart that no human relationship can fill. Only God can fill that hole. (The loneliness is the sign that is still needs God's love.) Yet, it is not filled by God's love. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life~ John 3:16 (NASB). God's love already exists for everyone, and yet people are lonely. Our loneliness is the longing God put in us for Him.

What do you think about addressing loneliness and the vacuum; the hole of need in everyone that only God can fill?

Clueless, Wordless, Stumped

Fun Friday came and I couldn't come up with anything funny or remotely humorous. I made a commitment to myself to write on this blog daily. In earlier posts I've mentioned that I felt God's call to write since my husband died this past April. Having been out of the writing world for years I saw this daily blog as my way to exercise my "writing" muscles and gain strength and speed.

Now, God is opening great doors of writing and leadership to me. From "no one is asking for my writing" to heading up two newsletters with a large number of readers and developing a large penpal correspondence ministry to inmates; I am working continually to draw up guidelines, interview people for articles, etc. Wordless has rarely described me, but this week I became overwhelmed with important personal matters, a family funeral, several deadlines on writing ministry needs and I hit the wall.

I felt really crummy and guilty yesterday when there was no time to write during the day. Finally last night I set aside time but nothing worthwhile came to me. This morning I have peace. I will be calling my first meetings with the writers that have signed up to begin our ministries. In prayer I realized I need to be empathetic and compassionate to these wonderful folks willing to give away their art to write as unto the Lord. Some will be novice writers and some will be writing in a new format. My writer's block was absolutely necessary, right now, for me to be a leader with understanding as we head out on this new journey.

Honestly as I look over the ones who have signed up I am amazed at their passion for the projects. Most of them lead full professional lives that leave little leisure time. I see some sacrificial saints signing up and I am humbled and wide awake to be all God would have me be to join Him in His work. So....yesterday may have disappointed you if you tripped over here at Thrive Christians blog to enjoy a chuckle because it's Friday, but I needed to hit the wall.

"Messin' up" never suits me. But I must admit I don't like following those "perfect" leaders who appear never to have done anything less than perfect forever. So, I didn't like staring into space and finally wearing down and going to bed with nothing to post yesterday. It will not be wasted. I could use some input from you folks in cyberspace. How do you tackle writer's block? I'm all ears!

God bless you all this beautiful weekend. May we praise Him with all our hearts for who He is.

Lonely; Don't Stay There

"I just wanted to eat out. I never eat in a restaurant alone. The children were with their Dad. Times like that make me feel lonely," sighed a single-again church member last Sunday.

Writing on thriving as Christians I try to address anything that threatens our abundant life God has promised each of us. Loneliness is a major problem in America and depression has reached new heights. I believe there is a close correlation to these two. It's easy to "cocoon" in your home with cable tv, internet and food delivery. Many people are working difficult jobs that drain them so that they hesitate to do anything that encourages a new friendship after work.

Being a single-again church member I am hearing and seeing an old problem that simply must be dealt with. I'm not lonely, but I can see how if I were made up differently I could be there quickly. I have come through many things in my professional life and eating out alone or traveling alone are not new to me. I am outgoing person, so I have made new connections to develop friendships for my life to be full.

But for the lonely in my sphere what should I do to help them? What can one person do? What if I work on that....what if?

My daughter called yesterday to talk about our holiday plans. I have always had a heart for the lonely. I told her we are down to such a tiny family I'd love to invite others to our feast. She agreed and we began thinking of those whose family lives hundreds of miles a way and cannot afford to travel this Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to this holiday that I might well have had dreaded since this our first without my husband. The seats will be filled and we will celebrate together!

Loneliness is sad whenever it occurs in anyone. I know the church is upset that the divorce statistics are worse among church members than the population at large. Many resources are invested in keeping couples in healthy relationships. Keep it up...I agree wholeheartedly, but there is a huge percentage of members who are not married. Some never were married, and never will be. Some are widowed and some are divorced. No matter what, church should be a safe place that all members can find a friend easily. Loneliness as a issue for a church member just doesn't make sense to me when I read the New Testament. Right?